Why 'God' Is An Asshole

Why 'God' Is An Asshole

And why he (probably) isn't real.

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.


"Who can tell us what the Holy Spirit is"?

It all begins with a question, or in this case, a series of unanswered questions. As I sat perplexed in my 3rd-grade religion class, I squirmed in my kilt, passing notes, as well as the time. I was asked what, or who, the Holy Spirit is. My tongue snapped: "Well it is everything": the perfect Catholic school bull shit response, guarantying my A and Good Noodle Star.

But what was it? As I was taught, it really is everything. It is the space in between a boy and a girl when they dance, it is the ABC $10 dollar wine served at mass, it is the spit swapped in the blood of Christ, the jimmy smoked by every priest after mass, it is in every boy, girl, murderer, terrorist, and rapist, and human being. It is God.

But how? How did this happen? How did God become a God then? Who birthed him? How did Mary have a child without sex? How did Jesus die and rise on the third day?

All these answers were spelled out in a holy textbook, but I still got the questions wrong. All the years of Catholic propaganda being shoved down my throat finally made be gag. After my 8 years, I walked out of the warden's office and never returned.

Given everything I was taught that fateful day, God would be this all-powerful being who holds people's hand through life; he is the comforter of aliments and the bringer of light. I ask myself, if this God is real, and has this much power over us weaker specimens, why is there so much pain, genocide, homicide, rape? How could he lead his sheep to slaughter?

Because God is a fucking asshole.

God is the little boy who sets fire to the anthill and laughs. God is one who pisses in our Cheerios. God is the bully who kicks sand in your face on the playground. God is the snake that eats the bird eggs from the nest.

"But God does not do bad things, he represents the good in all man, even the unrighteous"

As we have learned from Mr. Stevenson, like Dr. Jehkyll and Mr. Hyde, one man cannot be solely good or bad; they marry together in harmony. If God isn't man, then "he" shouldn't be referred to as "he". With all good, God could influence the bad. If he guides the hand of his shepherd, he could guide the hand of every hand that rapes every child, every stab that cuts flesh, and needle that punctures the skin. If God and the holy spirit are present in every man, then couldn't they, too, bad?

It isn't holy, it is wicked.

However, I believe none of this.

I do not believe God gave me cancer.

I do not believe God made my dog die.

I don't believe God made terrorists kill people.

And I don't believe God made me do anything.

Do I believe in God? Not really. Nothing is for sure though, like I will never say aliens aren't real, Johnson might not have assassinated Kennedy, Tupac might be living underground with Elvis and Houdini, or that Obama might be a Russian spy sent to shoot lasers into our houses at night (yes I have heard this). I don't know. On the other hand, I refuse to say that "it" controls our fate, our lives, what we do, who we fuck, or why we do the things we do.

The world is a fucked up. During times of hardship, hospice, and hostile heartbreaks, people need something to believe in, whether that is a mythical it in the clouds, or a fairy that lives off the laughter of children, or even bigfoot. Whatever gets you through the day, believe in it; fuck if it's wrong or not, who is to know.

But I don't need that. I believe in myself.

Now and forever,


Cover Image Credit: Pixels

Popular Right Now

I'm Tired Of Trendy Christianity

Life with Jesus is so much more than one big coffee break.

Okay, you're a Christian. After all, you have all of the tools you need.

You have your densely highlighted and underlined Bible, your Eno, your Chacos, your Patagonia backpack and of course, your beloved Camelbak or Nalgene water bottle that is covered in name-brand stickers.

Your days consist of going outside, chilling in your Eno and blasting "Oceans" by Hillsong and "Good, Good Father" by Chris Tomlin. Your room is decorated with lots of inspirational quotes, maps with variations of "send me" close by and probably some pictures of your last mission trip. Your Instagram page is full of pictures of your friends that are "gems," captions of how thankful you are for certain things and pictures of the last country you visited that say "take me back."

Oh, and you might have a tattoo in Greek.

Okay, if you know me, you know that I literally just described myself. So, when I say what I'm about to, I'm not bashing anyone at all. I am guilty of all of these things and God has really laid these things on my heart that I've found myself doing time after time.

It seems that in the time we live in, if you're going to be a Christian, you have to have all of the right things, and I'm tired of it. Christianity is not about having a certain look or personality, but about having a deep, meaningful relationship with Christ. I think a lot of people have the wrong idea about what being in a relationship with Christ actually looks like. I'm here to tell you that it's not anything like what I described.

Being in a relationship with Christ is not easy, and it's certainly not the most trendy thing out there (maybe on your college campus, but not in the real world.) It's about surrendering everything you have to a God who sent his son to be crucified for things you've done wrong.

It's more than just drinking designer coffee and Bible journaling and "being intentional."

It's about finding peace and joy in spending time with our creator. I know a lot of people just like me who fit the stereotype perfectly who have some of the deepest, most meaningful relationships with Christ, but I also know a lot of people who fit the stereotype who are just faking it.

I'm so tired of people who do not know Christ thinking that they have to have a certain look or personality about them and it hinders them from running into the loving arms of Jesus. We've made Christianity a club, and that's not okay. We have taken God's beauty and grace and made a fad out of it.

So, friends, I'm not saying that we can't have these things and still be Christians (because honestly, I like the way I live life with these things I've been given, and this is just who I am,) but I am saying that having these things are not what makes us Christians. So, be careful how you live out your walk.

Are you just doing it to be trendy, or do you have a deep and meaningful relationship with Christ?

Walking with Jesus is more than just a big coffee break.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr/Psalm Thirty Seven Four

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I'm A Christian Who Practices Yoga And That's Okay

Yoga and Jesus: Is it possible?


I have a confession: I am a Christian who practices yoga daily. I even teach it twice a week. It may not seem like a big deal, but to some, my yoga practice is considered demonic or blasphemous to my faith. I understand why other Christians hold this belief. Yoga is rooted in the Hindu and Buddhist tradition. Christians do not believe in actively practicing any other religion but Christianity, and monotheistic doctrine is 100% scriptural.

But, it is important to remember that in today's Western culture, many of the specifically religious parts of yoga have been stripped to offer a more inclusive approach to the exercises. To be honest, I have never attended a yoga class in which I felt pressured to conform to the ways of another religion. Yoga teachers see the melting pot of races and religions that walk into the studio every day and know that they have to make class inclusive or they won't have any students! I like to compare yoga to the Christmas tree. Christmas trees definitely have pagan origins, but Christians across America put up a Christmas tree to celebrate Jesus' birth. Although we are aware of the original purpose of the tree, we are also aware that such old traditions mean very little to society today. Yoga is a similar situation.

Most Christians who practice yoga know of its origins but also understand that hundreds of years have separated the practice from its original intent.

When I take a yoga class, I have a very specific mindset that I try to enter each time I approach the mat. This has very little to do with "altering my spiritual state." It's more about making sure that I'm getting the most out of each stretch and breath physically so that I am maintaining emotional regulation. All of these benefits, of course, extend to my spiritual life as well. Because my Christian walk is a part of everything I do, Christ has really, truly blessed me in my yoga practice. When I'm going through a flow, I pray, I seek answers, I ask questions. I get to focus on how God holds together all of my operating systems: physical, mental and spiritual.

Yoga is literally medicine. Doctors are starting to prescribe it like a pill. Here are just a few of the countless benefits of having a regular yoga practice:

- increased flexibility

- more effective circulation

- weight loss

- boosts immunity

- better focus

- increased oxygen intake

- sinus relief

- depression/anxiety relief (lots of serotonin!)

- better posture

- natural pain relief (even for menstrual aches and pains!)

- improved metabolism

- lowers blood sugar

- supports connective tissue

-maintains the nervous system

- releases physical and emotional tension

- relieves drug withdrawal symptoms

- prevents loss of bone and cartilage

- increased strength

- relieves insomnia and other sleep problems

For me and millions of others, the amazing benefits of yoga happen not because of calling on any other deity, but because of the strengthening and relaxation that happens when you go through the physical act of yoga. Of course, this physical positivity changes my emotions and spiritual posture with God, but for the better! I walk away physically invigorated, emotionally purged and spiritually more in tune with my Father's voice.

I think that's a really cool thing to experience, but it's not for everyone, and that's okay! If you're a Christian and do not feel inclined to start a yoga practice, that is valid! No true yogi would ever try and force a practice on anyone! But, it's hard to see a lot of my Christian friends bash yoga as "a practice from Hell" or "a way to open up portals" when it's been a Godsend for so many people ailing from things they never thought they would find relief from.

God, through the redemptive grace of Christ, is in the business of making all things new (Revelation 21:5). He can turn ashes into something of magnificent beauty, and I believe He can do it with yoga. Looking back, I can see how God has given me discernment with my practice to know how to worship and serve my God in yoga without compromising my heart in the process. Because of God's clear direction in my life, maintaining my spiritual integrity in yoga has not been hard.

I totally understand that an 800-word article may not change anyone's mind, and that's okay! I just ask everyone who might disagree with me to take into account not only all that I have said, but all that God says in Scripture, and use discernment to make a decision for yourself. I think that's really the heart of yoga today: asking others to consider a different way of observing life while staying completely true to themselves and what they believe.


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