Being a teenage girl or even just a girl in college, I’m constantly surrounded by relationships. There are couples everywhere it seems, and it almost makes you want to rush into a relationship with the amount that there are. Going to a small college or university only intensifies this. I’m not in a relationship, but I have my moments when I want to be. I’ve figured out that part of the reason I’m not in a relationship is because I have really high expectations when it comes to relationships or guys in general. Most girls have really high expectations when it comes to relationships and I attribute these expectations to books, movies and social media.
A few years ago if you heard the term “goals,” you would think of sports. For example, if you heard “goals,” you would think of a soccer goal or football goal. You might even think of it as something to work toward or reach in the future. People have taken the term “goal,” and related it to relationships in recent years, also known as “relationship goals.” Young girls will idolize these couples on social media and call them “relationship goals,” or say that they are “life goals,” and it has really set a standard for girls and relationships.
In my opinion, “relationship goals” ruins relationships by setting an unbelievable or unattainable goal for young girls. These goals make girls think that if their boyfriends don’t take them on cute dates or take cute pictures with them that something isn’t right. It also may ruin a girl’s self-esteem by being in a relationship and seeing these couples on social media. Girls compare themselves to other girls more than anything, so these girls that are in relationships start to think, “Well, her boyfriend does all of these cute things for her, why doesn’t mine?” or, “Why isn’t my relationship like this one?” The problem with social media is that you never know what is actually happening in that person’s life other than what is posted in pictures or videos. Young girls could be idolizing these couples that are “relationship goals” and they may not even be a couple that young girls should idolize.
Books and movies have also set a high standard for girls. Nicholas Sparks wrote several novels that have been made into movies. "The Notebook" is the most common out of all of these movies. Noah and Allie’s relationship is one that many girls and women aspire to have. The passion that they have for each other, the trials and tribulations they encounter and overcoming so many obstacles to be together makes them admirable. The love story makes girls fall in love with Noah (and swoon over Ryan Gosling, of course) and makes them want someone as caring and compassionate as him.
High expectations are NOT completely a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong, it is very good to know what you want in a relationship. But you have to make sure your expectations are reasonable. Social media isn’t a bad thing either. Like everything else, it has positives and negatives. But I think it can sometimes have more negative effects than positive.
