Why "Getting to Know You" Is So Important
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Why "Getting to Know You" Is So Important

864
Why "Getting to Know You" Is So Important
Wholesome Lady

Lately I’ve been pondering the “getting to know you phase” of relationships. I don’t mean within friendships or casual flings, but the beginning of something both partners know will be great. Seeing as I’ve also been reading Charles Dickens, I think his character of David Copperfield phrases this period of time in the most eloquent, beautiful way possible. Wrapped up in his newfound love for his future wife, he states, “In our youthful ecstasy, I don’t think that we really looked before us or behind us; or had any aspiration beyond the ignorant present.”

Who hasn’t felt this initial bliss in the beginning of a relationship? In the first shy weeks and months of getting to know someone, I personally have never known such ignorance or felt so carefree. For that short window of time, what is there to worry for? What reason is there not to trust him, or him, me? Although it may be foolish, I love this time. Those little moments build a relationship.

The most important part of Dickens’ quote is that of looking forward or behind oneself. Relationships suffer when a couple begins to dwell or worry, something that I have found is so easy to do in college. Relationships move fast during these years, as do most things in our lives. Yet in these first hangouts, first conversations, first kisses and more, my tendency to worry dissipates as fog does on a warm morning. I become elated as my feelings begin to develop, and there is no future or past besides what I’m feeling at that moment.

Unfortunately, that moment is never meant to last. Life begins to get in the way. Past wounds and insecurities begin to resurface, and I worry for what is to come. I live eight hundred miles away from Florida, which usually means four months apart in the summer. I wonder if, in a school of 50,000 students, there could possibly be someone better for me. The trials and tribulations of my past and those that may come in the future begin to weigh heavy on me. That blissfulness I felt so strongly in the beginning simply fades away. All of that is only on my end and occurs somewhat in unison with the issues my partner may be hiding. Someone usually begins to pull away, and things fall apart. And so it goes. 

This process is sad, but I have accepted that it is a part of life. Ignorance is never meant to last, but the preservation of that bliss is attainable. How? I’m not sure I can say. I firmly believe that when I can finally make that bliss last, I will enjoy a fruitful, happy relationship. For now, I can consume myself in the present, ignorant or not, and do my best to not look forward or behind me. After all, we have no promise of tomorrow, just the moment we are in right now.

It’s true that I’ve never been able to make the getting to know you phase last. The ignorant happiness fades for me sometimes, and sometimes it fades for the person I’m with. Yet with the ups and downs of my relationships, and as each love takes fire and eventually burns out, I am gifted with one thing. Those first euphoric moments are branded into my memory, never to be taken away. I will always remember the time when that person was just a stranger, getting to know the person that I am. I will never forget the beautiful parts I got to see in others before the foolish happiness began to fade. Those memories are more than enough to keep me open to love and optimistic for all the love I have in store.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less

First and foremost, shame on you for encouraging the patriarchy and sexism as you police a female's clothing choices. You cannot control our bodies, but what you can advocate for is public health and safety. This includes demoralizing rape, slut-shaming, and protecting society from illness.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

Picture this, we're settling into our date, the conversation is flowing, we're ordering drinks, laughing, and then it happens... the job convo.

Him: "So what do you do?"
Me: "I'm a dating and relationships editor."

Keep Reading... Show less
Disney

I've always been a huge Disney villain fan — whether it was for their cryptic one-liners, enviable outfits, or sidekick banter. Some of the most iconic lines from cinematic history have been said by the characters we love to hate and occasionally dress up as once a year.

The fear-mongering Gaston I now find hilariously cringe-worthy is now charming and oftentimes considered by fans as rightfully justified in his actions. Die-hard fans of the Disney villain fan club claim alternate egos in their favorite evil characters, adopting their hilarious witticisms into everyday life.

Keep Reading... Show less

- I have extremely sensitive skin, which is why I have always resorted to a plant-based organic beauty line such as Radha Beauty.

- Radha Beauty won me over years ago when I was looking for organic skincare brands.

- I was so excited to see they launched a new line incorporating USDA organic rosehip oil, so when their PR team sent me some, I could not have been more thrilled.

- After a week of using the products, my face felt as smooth as a baby's, looked more glowy than ever, and even cured some of my summer sunburn.

Radha Beauty isn't just a best-selling beauty brand on Amazon — it's a USDA-certified organic beauty brand I live by, and anyone who knows me knows I am all about holistic wellness.

Typically, it only takes three days for me to tell if a skin product is working or not because I have extremely sensitive skin. It's also why I have always stuck by plant-based organic beauty lines such as Radha Beauty.

Keep Reading... Show less

Anyone who goes to Panera Bread will tell you that their mac and cheese is to die for. If you're a huge fan of their mac and cheese, you won't believe the new recipe they're coming out with!

Keep Reading... Show less

I have definitely had my fair share of breakups. I broke up with my high school sweetheart my second semester of college (he was cheating on me), I had a breakup with another guy I thought I was going to marry, and others in between. Regardless of whether you're the one doing the dumping or being dumped, breakups can HURT.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Epic Activewear Deals Every Leggings-Lover Needs To Know About From Nordstrom's Biggest Sale

Wearing my pleather Alo leggings till someone physically removes them from my body.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not an athletic person, at all. Since junior high school, I've been happily cheering my friends on at their football games and soccer matches from the sidelines as long as I could go home to my yoga mat and spend Sunday mornings at Pilates with my mom's friends.

Weekends are often spent in my casual wear, from the second I throw them on for morning meditation through running errands and evening walks. No, I won't be running a marathon or joining my friend's volleyball league anytime soon.

Keep Reading... Show less

TikTok was banned by the president, but Instagram is here with its newest feature called Reel. Many of us are still wondering why TikTok was being banned in the first place. Was it all the dangerous TikTok trends? It was because of a security concern, but not in the way you might think.

TikTok is owned by Dancebyte, which is a China-owned company. Basically, just like any other app, TikTok collects the user's data. The main question to ask yourself when investing in any app or marketing tools who will be owning my data? So yes, China currently owns all the TikTok user's data worldwide.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Reasons To Put The Damn Mask On, And Stop Fussing With It

COVID-19 is real people, do your part to protect yourself and others.

Ilana Stein

With the ever-changing reality of our world due to COVID-19, there has been one constant throughout these past unforeseen months, masks. Ever since coronavirus hit the ground running in the US, the CDC has been recommending social distancing and mask-wearing to stop the rapid spread.

Many people have been great about adhering to these policies, mandates, and suggested uses, but others, not so much.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been an athlete my entire life. I love movement and I've been jumping, kicking, swimming, dancing, throwing, you name it since I was in diapers. I'm also pretty competitive and probably went through a few sore loser phases. What can I say? I like to win, and losing can sometimes feel like I've failed. Especially, when your competitor is your best friend or someone that you worked all year long to defeat.

Keep Reading... Show less

Social media is something many of us have been addicted to (whether we want to believe it or not) since the moment we got it. I remember getting Facebook at 10. Instantly I was hooked. I loved being able to share my life with people, a little too much in my opinion, and I loved being able to see how/what other people were doing all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

I am not in any way any sort of medical expert. These are just some tricks that work for me and have worked for others who also suffer from anxiety. These may not work for everyone, but I do hope these help some people in their fight against anxiety.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments