As my family sat down for breakfast on Sunday, June 12, the day's news tormented our eardrums with information on yet another terrorist attack. My first thought was "Why? Why this night club?" and then two words emerged from news anchor's mouth that zapped my brain into focus: "Gay club." My heart sank into my chest. It was an attack on me. It was an attack on my girlfriend. It was an attack on every person in my life who is a member of the LGBTQA+ community. It was personal. I was crushed by the thought of this hate crime, and as I continue to analyze the tragedy that transpired within the upbeat walls of Pulse Nightclub, I'm repeatedly drawn to other people's reactions to it.

Thankfully, many generous and sympathetic people have recognized the damage this has not only done to society, but to the LGBTQA+ community as well. On the flip, there were some people who just didn't get it. I overheard one person say, "Why do they have to call it a gay club? It's just a club." Thank you for attempting to view gays as equal this time, but in order to understand the motives behind the deadliest mass shooting the United States has ever seen, the gay part is relevant information. We cannot sweep that part under the rug because whether we like it or not, members of the LGBTQA+ community are not equal. America has reached a consensus on marriage equality, and pride and acceptance have followed. But the entire world hasn't, and neither have certain faiths. This event has proven that.

Prejudice and violent discrimination are around every corner. Possibly hidden in the cracks of last year's Supreme Court victory, but still thriving. So after this attack, gays and all other members of the LGBTQA+ community should not be treated equally. Because equality in this country would mean treating this mass shooting like any other mass shooting. We all talk about it, offer our condolences, and then wait two months for the next one. Quite frankly, I don't know how many more I can take before I completely lose faith. Our own troops are "joking" with their weapons in hand, threatening to shoot up gay bars. When will it end?

Everyone wants to blame TV and video games for violent outbursts, but what about the first-hand exposure? I get a lot more cynical and detached from my society when I keep seeing all of this hatred. We've been living in fear for over 15 years now. We cracked down on airport security, but that doesn't stop the people who are already here.

Sure, guns don't kill people, people do. If someone is out for blood, they'll find a way. Except minimal access to automatic weapons would have limited the chances of killing 49 people that night. And that doesn't include those who were injured.

So I don't want to sit here and let society treat this attack on the LGBTQA+ community like it has other mass shootings. I want actual change. For me, for LGBTQA+'s, for the men, women, and children who have all lost their lives to gun violence. For the overlooked correlation between gun regulations and suicide rates. For my society. Because this is not the America that we all want it to be.

I don't want to be treated equally. I want to get things done.