Few things are more stressful than the two weeks of classes, followed by one week of finals, after Thanksgiving Break. You spend a nice, relaxing week with your family, catching up with your friends from home, gearing up for Christmas. And then, in a blink, you're back on campus, and are instantly smacked in the face with research papers, group projects, tests, quizzes, and any and every assignment you could dream of.
It is in these weeks that you rant and complain to your friends, in between trips to the library and Starbucks, unsure of how you'll ever finish the mountain of work that only seems to be growing with each passing day. Your meals consist of bags of chips you find in the bottom of your backpack in between group meetings and papers, and handfuls of Sour Patch Kids you find at home, when you eventually get there, too exhausted by the day to make something of substance. Your body is more than likely equal parts water and coffee, and you've begun adding things that you've already completed to your to-do list in hopes of feeling more accomplished. Add in the necessary hours in the day spent intentionally distracting yourself, because there are only so many hours in a day you can pore through the library database. All this before finals week!
All you long for are the days of winter break, slowly but surely approaching, in which you can watch Netflix (stress-free!) and never move from your bed. No more papers, no more assigned readings, and no more assignments. It sounds like paradise as you drown yourself in yet another over-priced coffee.
I'm guilty as anyone of complaining about finals stress. As I write this right now, I could be doing approximately four other things that are all due on Monday, none of which I have started yet. I have caught up on this week's episode of This is Us, and googled where to find ice luges, and napped for extended periods of time. But done my work? Nope.
Part of me, the biggest part, undoubtedly, is sheer procrastination. I work best under pressure. When the deadline is really looming. That's what I like to tell myself as I press "Next Episode" on yet another episode of Friends I've seen countless times. But another part of me just doesn't want to let go. I'm just really not ready yet.
This is my last fall semester in college. God knows what condition I'll be in this time next semester. And while I'm already making plans for all the fun things I'll do with my month of freedom, part of me is irrevocably devastated by the fact that this is my LAST. WINTER. BREAK. I can't even fathom those words as I type them. I am in complete denial that I have completed just about 3.5 years of college, as I remember freshman move-in day a little too well.
And yet here we are. Just eight days away from leaving this place that became my home seemingly overnight. Eight days away from leaving my friends, who I do virtually everything with every day of the week. Leaving our daily adventures or late-night, post-bar pizza ordering. Leaving our movie nights, (drinking) game nights, and every night in between. Leaving the people and the places that make each day memorable and exciting and fun. I just don't think I can handle that.
While my pile of unfinished homework is looming, and I'd probably sell my soul to have it done for me overnight, the longer finals week goes on, the longer I get to stay with my people. In our favorite place. My overly exhausted brain is ready for a break, but that's about it. I never want to leave this place.
