When it comes to giving people second chances, I’m all for it. Everybody makes mistakes and I know there were plenty of times when I messed up and have wanted forgiveness from someone else. That being said, I believe that there are some mistakes that people make that do not deserve a second chance. Some may call my belief too harsh, but I call this having standards.

Here’s the thing; when it comes to relationships, everyone has their personal amount of bullsh*t — for lack of a better word — that they are willing to tolerate. These are their standards.

In life, I have set pretty high standards for myself and for things that I want to achieve. Although I have no control over other peoples standards or how they choose to live their lives, I do have control over who I allow close to me and who I choose to spend my time around.

Of course, there has to be some give and take in any relationship that you have with someone, whether that be with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, sibling, parent, teacher or coworker. Nobody is perfect and no one should expect relationships to be completely perfect either; that's impossible.

The problem is when your own personal values and morals get pushed aside while getting caught up in the individual issues of others. Let me elaborate: When someone is important to me, I want to make their problems my problems. I also want to accept the flaws in my loved ones and for them to accept the flaws in me — and I know the same applies for the majority of people with those that they care about. We want to forgive those that we care for and acknowledge that we all make mistakes. However, there is a fine line between supporting someones flaws and pardoning their mistakes versus allowing someone's personal issues to degrade you and diminish your self worth.

Determine what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate. For me, there are certain things that I have set into my head that I refuse to tolerate. Some of them are infidelity in a relationship, consistent lying from a friend or belittlement from a coworker. You can accept people for their flaws, help them through their weaknesses and forgive them for their mistakes, but you can’t let their issues get to a point where they are continuously hurting you.

Let's say that someone you care for has a problem with their anger. You can try and help them think of ways to cope with that anger. You can explain the consequences that their tantrums have on the people they love. You can also forgive them maybe one too many times for treating you poorly as a result of their short temper. However, once their anger gets to a point where they are continuously degrading and disrespecting you due to their own individual issues that’s when you need to know that enough is enough and this should come from knowing your self worth.

Knowing your self worth is so important in life in order to recognize what type of treatment you deserve. Knowing your worth is not to be confused with narcissism. It is crucial to keep your standards high and known to others so that you, as well as they, know that you aren’t willing to put up with disrespect. Recognize that you deserve to be treated with the respect that you give to others. A quote that I once heard and stand by is, “Be forgiving, be understanding, but don’t be a fool." If you continue to let people treat you disrespectfully, then you will feel like a fool. As I said earlier, everyone makes mistakes and people that you care for deserve your forgiveness, just like you would want theirs after the times that you messed up. Simply remember your self-worth, what you are deserving of and when to say enough, because what you allow is what will continue.