When did conversations become so superficial, only scraping the surface and never digging in to understand what’s going on in people’s hearts. Everyone around us is living a life that we can only catch a glimpse of, and we just accept that.
When did that become okay?
I am just overwhelmed by how many people can ask, “Hey, how was your day?” without really caring to hear the answer. Even people we’re close to. Whenever I ask someone how they are or how their day is going, if they only respond “all right” you better believe my next questions is why just all right? I like to know why they can’t confidently say their day was great. Maybe it was something little, maybe it was something on a much larger scale. I’m a firm believer that talking and getting that ‘thing’ off our chest is human nature and good for our hearts. It may not always feel like it at the time, but we’re wired to crave intimacy and connection, to feel understood.
Even when my friends tell me they’re doing well, or had a great day, I like to pry. Why? What made your day so great? I love to share in the joys of others the same way I empathize and hope to be there when things are hard. I promise, I’m not trying to brag on how I check up on people. I am so incredibly, unbelievably flawed and can be a crappy friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend…the list goes on. But I think I, and everyone should be more intent on really digging deep into the lives of those we care about.
Nothing makes me more upset than finding out about a friend of family member’s trial and struggles through someone else, and knowing that if I wasn’t so consumed in my own life, maybe I would’ve had an idea as to what was going on. We’re all so wrapped up in our own emotions, our bad grades, our relationship drama, our stresses in life- we genuinely sometimes forget others are feeling the same thing. It’s scary easy to do.
But I hate that we just accept small talk now. I am so guilty of just sitting down with good friends or friends I haven’t seen in a while and just talking about nonsense, which is all fine and well, but when we part ways I often feel like I didn’t learn anything new about them or what they’re feeling/experiencing in their current season of life. I sat down last night to grab a drink with a high school buddy who I’m still close with, and for the first time in forever we just talked about the present. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I was overwhelmed and so impressed by his maturity, wisdom, and how incredibly easy it was to open up once we were both speaking honestly. I want more conversations like that, and I want to provide conversations like that for others.
This is a pretty pointless rant, but I was reminded today how often people can just brush others aside, and it made my heart heavy.
Hope you lovely foxes are having a great night!
If you took the time to read this, hey, thanks a ton.
