In a little over a month, four people that were very near and dear to my heart passed away. Last year, I wasn’t chosen to receive a full ride scholarship that I had tried my best to earn. Yes, I was upset. Yes, I was disappointed. Yes, I cried. No, I did not get angry at God. It’s true, I don’t blame him for the bad things that happen in the world. Do I know why those things happen? No, I don’t. What I do know, however, is that He has a greater plan and that we have to trust in His plan and in His timing. This, my friends, is my mantra for life.
Everyone handles grief and disappointment differently. I cry a lot when I’m experiencing those emotions and I enjoy expressing my feelings through writing. Some people never shed a tear and keep their feelings bottled up inside. At some point during this time, I remember to turn to God. What would He want me to do? How can He help me through this situation? When those questions ride through on my train of thought, I stop what I’m doing, drop to my knees, bow my head and pray. I pray for peace. I pray for understanding. I pray for comfort. Most importantly, though, I thank Him. I thank Him for calming my spirit enough to be able to get down on my knees and spend that special time with Him.
It’s challenging to trust Him sometimes. Believe me, I know. There was a time when my relationship with God was basically nonexistent. I believed in Him, but I had not yet formed the relationship with Him that I have now. That was a hard time. I relied on myself and the people around me for resolutions to problems that we had no control over. It wasn’t until I was a junior in high school that my relationship with God really blossomed. Now I know that He was there with me all along. He was protecting me, comforting me, teaching me and guiding me to follow Him, yet I had no idea that He was there. The faith and trust that I have in Him now is what has gotten me through the dark times of life, such as the passing of a loved one or the times that something just didn’t work out in my favor that I was really hoping for.
Why do I trust Him and His plan so much? One of my favorite scriptures from the Bible is Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV): “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” After reading that, how could we possibly expect ourselves to be able to understand the beauty of His plan? Simply put – we can’t. God tells us right there in the scripture that He doesn’t expect us to understand His thoughts nor His ways. We just have to have that faith in Him no matter how difficult it seems. We should believe that He is always there for us, caring for us and watching over us. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) states, “‘…For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” This a direct promise from God that He has a plan for us and that He will take care of us.
In the case of a loved one passing, I ask you this- Where would you rather that person be? Would you rather them be here on Earth, or would you rather them be in God’s hands? Steven Curtis Chapman, a well-known Christian singer, lost his daughter in 2008 and he stated the following at the 21st annual Southern California Harvest Crusade: “Here’s the hope that we have… even when He takes something, is there any better, safer place that we could ever leave anything than in the hands of God?” I don’t know about anyone else, but in the case of someone that could be here on Earth with me or up in Heaven with Our Creator, I would rather them be with Him. In Heaven, there is no suffering, there is no pain, there is no sadness. There is just happiness and joy.
I know that at the end of the day, God is watching over me and the people that I care for. He is leading us down the path that He made for us and His plan is working out the way that He intended for it to. All we have to do is have faith in Him. There is a line from one of my favorite songs by Francesca Battistelli, another well-known Christian singer, and it is: “He never sleeps, He never slumbers. He’s been awake at every hour. No tear catches Him by surprise. He’s never lost, He never runs out. He never lives in the shadows of doubt. No fear catches Him by surprise. Find rest my soul. Put your hope in God.” The first time that I heard that part of the song, I started the song over. That line intrigued me and is still so beautiful to me today. When you think about it, He really is always awake and watching out for us 24 hours a day and seven days a week. God never goes on vacation nor does He ever leave our side. When I’m upset, crying and expressing my feelings, He is right there next to me calming my spirit with His presence. He’s always with you, too. You just have to be willing to trust Him and rely on Him.
God yearns to be with you during the good and the bad times, and He definitely doesn’t deserve the anger that wells up inside of us during the bad times. We will never be able to comprehend just how much He truly loves and cares for us. That is why I don’t get angry at God.
