Not to sound cliché right off of the bat, but good ‘ole Forrest Gump has said a time or twenty in front of you, me, and the rest of the world that “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”
Well, no offense to Mr. Gump, but if that classic movie quote was actually applied to my life, my box of life chocolates would be a never-ending supply of those coconut-filled or the green-filled ones. The ones whose actual contents are unknown due to them being known as nothing besides the "green-filled ones". The ones that people take one bite of and leave in the box. (No offense to you if you’re a person who actually like either of those flavors. I may not understand you, and I may judge you a bit. But no offense.)
By no means am I trying to say that I am bitter about the life that I have. The good days come with the bad, as many of you can relate to or agree with. However, it seems to be that the bad days far outweigh the good. And, oddly enough, I find myself okay with that.
Have you really taken the time to look back on your life? I’m talking about the big events that called for celebration or for a few tears, the days where you felt the happiest and the worst, the “important” things all the way down to the little things, which seem so insignificant. Why did these things happen to you? Why did you win some, and why did you lose some?
If you have never found yourself questioning every aspect of your life, then you could make some serious cash selling your secrets on how to fool others into thinking that you’re happy every second of every day. The amount of people who would pay actual money for such a ridiculous thing would probably shock you. Because, in all honesty, the bad and the good are what shape us all into we are, who we will be, what we’ll do in life, and what we’ll get out of life. This idea completely fascinates me.
For a long time, and I even still find myself feeling this way at times, I was angry about things that had happened in the past, apologies I never got, and the “doom and gloom” factors of my life. Man, can that take you somewhere dark. But it was when I got to this point, my lowest of lowest points, that I was able to really take a step back and honestly look at my life for what it was and what it is.
From happiness to heartache, laughs and tears, hellos and goodbyes, being on top of the mountain and sliding back down to the bottom, I was able to see why I was given this life. I was able to get a better look at those who were in my life, even if they aren’t in it now: family by birth, old best friends, new best friends, enemies, and all the randomness in-between. From that, I was able to weed out those that I don’t need in my life: the family who weren’t much for family, the friends who forgot what it meant to be friends, and all others who wanted to see me fail rather than see any glimpse of success out of me. From that, I gained a new appreciation for the family and friends that never left, for the new friends I’ve made along the way, and the people who have taken me in as a part of their own family, who make every day better. I cut out the what-ifs, the should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve.
But that’s not all that I got from really questioning my life. I found a new perspective of myself. I stopped caring. I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. I stopped caring about what I couldn’t control. I can’t control that I was born into a part of my family that didn’t appreciate what I brought to the table. I can’t control that I have friends who swore that they would never leave, but did. I can’t control that there are people out there who aren’t going to like what I do, what I say, and how I respond to their critiques of either of those things.
And that’s okay. I legitimately, poker face for all the marbles, do not care. I care about how successful I plan on making myself in the future, how many stupid things my friends and I can do before we graduate college, and about being a good influence on the tiny little souls that are my “little sisters” to ensure that they never feel about themselves what I have felt about me. I care about how I treat others when they don’t treat me the same, how my family and my second family do and would do anything under the sun for me, and I care about how those I love see themselves. So, if you haven’t already, take the time to go back and question everything you think you know about your life, and how the events that happened in it have made you better, not worse. Because, if you’re as lucky as I am, you’ll see that this world really isn’t that bad of a place.