I went to Disneyland with my family a little bit ago, and as it tends to go with younger siblings, the fear factor starts to kick in. It starts with choosing a ride, suggesting it to the group, and then hearing someone (SOMEONE!!) complain that it’s going to be too scary. Of course the traditional reassurances and rebuffing start from everyone else. It even worse when they’ve been on the ride on a previous visit. The frustration of trying to talk someone out of their phobia is of a terrible and unique sort.

But regardless of whether or not your reasoning is effective and sound, even if you can map out a mathematical formula for why they’ll be completely safe, no amount of rational discourse can convince them out of their fear. Why? Well because their fear is at its core irrational. I’m not saying that fear is ridiculous, and in a lot of cases is rational and can be a good thing, like being afraid walking down a dark alley or standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon. But in the cases of a rollercoaster or a diving board, especially when the person has done it before, there’s a fear that can only be described as irrational.

The reason why I say that you can reason them out of this kind of fear, is because something irrational cannot be subjected to something rational, otherwise, it would cease to be irrational. The value of pi will never be rational, and the only way we can stop the endless stream of decimals, is to do something irrational which is to give an estimate that isn’t really the value of pi.

And so just like in the case of irrational numbers, the irrational fear of a rollercoaster or a high dive can only be confronted by something irrational itself; acting contrary to your fear. No amount of pleading from others telling you about the slowness of the ride or the softness of the water will convince you if you having an irrational fear about it.

Back to Disneyland, my sister finally went on the three rides she was terrified to go on and even threatened to leave the line we had been waiting 30 minutes in. But she went on the rides, was perfectly fine, and even wanted to go on them again. The words “don’t be scared” weren’t the thing that worked — it was her irrational act of will against her irrational fear that did the trick. Hopefully she’ll remember next time we visit.