Blonde hair… long blonde hair. "That's what I prefer". If I had a penny for each time I've heard this, well, then I'd be a very rich girl. Now, this doesn't mean that you're going to bow down, break out the bleach, and stuff yourself with hair-growth supplements. However, I've had my share of moments where I thought maybe this was what everyone preferred; and if I don't have that then I'm not worth enough. I'll admit this happened much more often back then before I started practicing self-love. However, it sometimes will creep back in… "Maybe my hair did look better long" or "I won't feel confident again until it grows out". There's no doubt that social media is a huge role in this (seems to play a role in most of our society's problems… "hmm")

Now, my sister is a hairdresser and because of that, I've had just about every hairstyle/cut/color out there. Looking back, there wasn't ever one hairstyle that I "preferred" or that I thought "looked best" on me. No, you see I always loved each hairstyle that I had at the moment… because at the time, it was what I wanted. That's the key here; feeling confident and beautiful whether you have a buzz cut or long flowy hair, dark black or purple hair. So why do we sometimes feel like our hair has to look a certain way in order for others to accept or like us? Why do we feel as though our hair defines us?

After hearing, "You should grow your hair out again and dye it blonde, it looked best then", I realized that we as humans are still failing to see what's beneath the surface. That's when I realized that my personality and heart was lacking because I was so focused on my looks... Trying to please others by looking like the "it" girl. That's when I vowed to start working on the inside. Because the truth is that you could have supermodel looks, but if your personality is shit… then you're more of a 3 rather than a 10. It's no secret that people like looking at pretty people, I mean for God's sake we're all obsessed with Hollywood. We've grown up seeing beautiful people on screen (and even now on Instagram) and so that's what our eyes are drawn to. But have you ever tried to get close with a beautiful person who has little to nothing going on in their head/heart? Exactly.

A few months ago my hair was the longest it's ever been and was a darker shade of brunette. I got quite a few compliments on it, really always focusing on "It's so long wow!". Not too long after, I was texting my sister pictures of short hair (above the shoulders), and telling her "We're doing this as soon as possible, it's time to have short hair again". I was so excited to change things up, and to cut my hair styling time in half. And then came the half-ass compliments. You know the ones… where they feel like they have to tell you it looks good when really they're wondering why the heck you chopped all of it off.

This would've bothered me back then, and I would've been filled with regret. Searching the internet for the fastest way to grow my hair back out. But I realize that hair. Is. just. Hair. It's not a defining quality of who I am or how I treat people. I find it sad that some people can't get past the notion that all girls have to look one way or else it's not good enough. And for girls- if your hair is your main concern about yourself, then you have a much bigger problem. Because that was me, I used to use my hair as a cover for my not-so-great personality. It all starts with the inside, you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful and you are worthy no matter if you have the best hair or not.

And to those who truly love taking care of their hair or truly love having long blonde hair… I get it. I now enjoy making my hair look nice too, but all for the right reasons. And it's completely okay to "prefer" one look over others! Just don't ever make someone feel that they are less than because they don't fit that idea. And I'll always admit when I'm sort of being a hypocrite... because I still do feel this way sometimes. I often wonder if the length or color of my hair will determine whether or not someone is able to love me. It's a tough thing to admit that you feel this way. But self-love is a process, it does not happen overnight. Try thinking of your best qualities that have nothing to do with looks, try to nourish yourself with compliments on your personality and soul. It'll start to feel much more rewarding, and eventually, you will start to move away from "looks are the most important thing".

Always keep in mind, that the outside is only as beautiful as the inside.