I did not set out to be a single mother, matter-of-fact. I, Nikita, was raised in a two parent well-to-do home with ties to governmental resources. I was taught that anything was possible as long as I put my mind to it. My first child I had by a young gentleman was a result of a drunken one-night stand in which I do not remember anything except I woke up naked next to him and said, "Damn you ugly." I did not know that I would be connected to him through genetics for at least the next 18 years. Our son will be 24 in December and I would be damned if they act and look exactly the same. Except my son had his crossed eyes fixed.

For my next foray into motherhood, I met what I would consider intelligent hoodlum, or that's what my friend Ja'nay called him. He was not my type of hype and I thought since he was dark skinned and had not too many prospects of the female variety I would give it a try. My male weakness is the lighter-skinned brothers or the white persuasion. My thought processes were messed up back then; I thought if I date a dude that is ugly he wouldn't cheat. I was sadly mistaken.

That is the line they use to get women. I spoke to several of his conquests about him. He would tell them that the only reason he was with me was because he felt sorry that I had to raise my kids alone so he stayed with me. He would fail to inform them that he was the father and I was the one with the degree and a career. I really think I was depressed when I met him that I let him disrespect me for 15 years, and three kids later we, thank goodness, dissolved our disastrous relationship and I went on a journey of rediscovering myself.

I bought a habitat home, I lost weight —not just his dead weight, my baggage. I lost 150 pounds and I went to school for real estate. I had an amazing life with my beautiful four kids until my son needed brain surgery. I tried to reach out to his father but his immediate family thought I was trying to disrupt his "new family," which I would never do. His sister thought I wanted her brother back but in reality, brain surgery is a very dangerous surgery, and I wanted him to be able to say goodbye to his son if, heaven forbid, his son died on the table.

Well, while speaking to my youngest son's doctor another option was brought to her attention: she told me about the Vagal Nerve Stimulater (VNS) or a pacemaker for epileptics. So I decided to try that option instead. I did, however, get in touch with his girlfriend at the time and to lessen the drama between both families I decided to only speak to his girlfriend so she can relay what she wanted to him; I figured that was the best solution, plus I would want her seeing that she would be essentially my kids mother as well.

I seen it as the more people that care for my kids the better like it takes a village. I still feel that way. It's funny because every woman he dates are amazing, but he is just lame at being a man, boyfriend, and a father. It seems that when I tried to extend an olive branch I had drama every where I have turned. I try hard not to equate everything to my meeting the generic version of Shawn from Boys-II-Men, but I believe he was the start of my downfall.

While on social media I would say something like I wish I had my child support check worth $27.90 and he would be told what I put on Facebook and he would call CPS on me. He would say I am neglecting my kids—mind you, three of them are above the age of 18 and since my 16 year old is handicapped there is a new law in which CPS will be involved until he is 18 (that is what CPS told me). My thing is that I have proved over and over again I am a capable mom but they still believe I am neglectful, even his doctors came to my defense, but the government knows better right?