"Why do you love me?" This is a question that I've recently been asked. It's not the first time I've had the question asked of me, either. Partners/spouses, family, friends: it is in our nature to question our love for each other. This is never an easy question, and I have yet to come up with a concrete answer. When I convey this, the questioner inevitably stares at me in hurt and disbelief. My inability to come up with a good answer to their question isn't because I don't love them, but their feeling are hurt regardless. I believe that this is because they fail to understand the actual meaning of the question that they've asked me. You see, a list of good qualities is not a reason to love someone. That answers "what do you love," but not "why do you love." This distinction is important.
Love is not a solid object, nor does it take any singular form; it's timeless, boundless, and ethereal. Love can be expressed through physical acts, but it is not physical in and of itself. How else to explain a love that transcends death? A man remembers his deceased wife years after her passing and is still crushed under the weight of grief and love. How else to explain a love that travels the distance? A woman thinks of her husband stationed worlds away, and her heart still burns with love for him. How else to explain a love that phases through gender and social barriers? A man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, in the same fashion as a man loves a woman, or a woman loves a man. How else to explain a love that survives disappointment? A child is caught stealing or cheats on a test, maybe even worse, yet a parent's love remains strong. What about love of pets, overcoming the boundaries between different species? Or love of the divine, shattering the glass ceiling between this world and the next?
No, the love of a pet is not the same as the love between spouses/partners, and neither kinds of love are like that between a parent and a child. But I believe that all these different forms of affection coalesce into a single entity, the entity, the entity that we collectively refer to as Love. My own experience with love is that it is complex, and cannot be put simply into words. It's not the same as articulating why you're happy or sad. Even hatred, a feeling often thought of as the polar opposite of love, a feeling that is mysterious and frightening in its own right, can at least be explained intelligibly. Love is different than all the rest. Love transcends all other emotions, going far beyond biology, chemistry, or psychology. It is immaterial.
I don't know with any certainty if God exists. But I do know that if there is any higher power, that if there is a heavenly force uniting us all, then it is Love if nothing else. How can that be put into simple terms? I don't know why it is that we love, I just know that we do.
