Ever since I started college, I have been asked a plethora of questions.
"Do you like college?" "How's your roommate?" "What's your major?" "How are you actually doing." Everyone seems to have their own spin on the same questions, which is fine, I don't mind people asking me how I'm doing. I actually kind of enjoy it. Where it goes downhill is the one question, that I don't want to be asked, yet somehow always manages to come up: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
When I answer with "no, I really just want to focus on school right now", almost always, people respond with "Ohh, well that's ok." or "Ohh, well you don't really need one." or one of the best ones, "Ohh, well, at least, you're in college." I don't know if you could tell by those words, but I never leave these conversations feeling good about myself. The thing that bothers me the most is that the conversation always ends after I say no.
It's not so much the question that bothers me, but instead the implication. I have an internship, I'm pursuing a degree, I have great friends and amazing opportunities, yet my lack of boyfriend in the view of the social eye, almost leaves me unsuccessful. Every time I answer with "No." I find myself trying to justify why, I don't think I should have to, I don't think anyone should have to.
It feels a little bit offensive because it implies that I have nothing else going on in my life. I've started to realize that there is some weird socially set timeline that we are expected to follow that goes something along the lines of college, boyfriend, engagement, degree, marriage, children. I'm in college and not following the schedule. It doesn't bother me, but it seems to bother other people.
The other thing that bothers me the most is the pity I get following my answer of "No." I hate how people dwell on that. The majority of college-aged females, who are single, aren't just sitting around moping about it. They have lives, they're doing things, they're going on adventures and they're living life. So I beg of you, if you're going to ask any young woman if she's in a relationship, whether or not she answers yes or no, please acknowledge the other things she's doing in her life. Chances are if she has a boyfriend she'll bring it up. But her relationship status, single or taken, doesn't define her, so don't dwell on it.
