As a single 21-year-old woman, I get asked quite frequently, “So, is there anyone new in your life?” or “Is there anyone you’re interested in?” The answer is usually no, and here’s why. Apparently, I am a rare breed of woman who is not concerned with the fact that I am not dating anyone. I don’t see a romantic or sexual relationship as a major goal in life. Now, some people might read this and think, “Oh, she’s just bitter because she CAN’T get a date.” I assure you that isn’t the reason. It is just in the background of my life. Sure, dating can be fun. But is it a reason to put everything else on hold?
For people whose major concern right now is dating, I ask you, why? Will they get you an A in your class? Will they get you a degree? Will they give you a salary in order to pay for rent and food? If you answered yes to ANY of these questions, you are in the WRONG relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, finding someone who makes you happy is important, but you should have other things that make you happy as well. Something you do when that person is not around. Other people who make you happy to talk to in a non-romantic way. Let’s face it, not all relationships last forever; not even friendships last forever. Isn’t it important to make sure that your life doesn’t lose all meaning when it eventually ends? What if you put everything on hold because someone you are interested in is only available for a short time? What happens when they leave? What happens after someone leaves your life, and they were the main focus of your life? Is your life over? Was your life actually over the other 4 or 5 times someone left your life? Obviously not, or you wouldn’t be here right now.
Life is all about maintaining a balance. There’s an idea that is introduced to every college student at some point during their first year. There is having a social life, enough sleep every night, and good grades. Now, pick two of those, because there is no possible way to have all three. Well, why not? There is an idea that there is not enough time in a day for someone to have all three. There is enough time in a week, but then you have to pick which one has to wait. If you put sleep on hold, it is bad for your health. If you put grades on hold, it is bad for your future. If you put a social life on hold, it is bad for your happiness. And then where is there room left for dating?
As a college student, I can tell you that there is definitely time for it all. We just aren’t so good at time management. Netflix, Hulu, and Youtube, all occupy our so-called “free time.” So why try to pretend that we don’t have any time for ourselves? This is our background time. This is our time that is private, and can be used for any number of things. Why not use it for dating? If dating is so important, why not do it instead of wasting time watching movies and TV shows about dating? Are streaming videos more important than a relationship?
