Relationships in college are a part of the whole college experience: friendships, relationships with your teachers and peers, and of course, romantic relationships. But there’s one thing that no one told you before you entered the dating world in college: college relationships are seriously effed up, and I’ll tell you why.
There’s this idea that whoever cares less in the relationship, wins. Whoever texts the other person first, initiates hangouts, and expresses true feelings just looks pathetic and desperate. But why does it have to be this way? When did casual hookups and one night stands trump chivalry and manners and romance?

It has recently occurred to me that casually hooking up in college, especially freshman and sophomore year, is really no big deal. Walk of shames are now a running joke with friends.  Pictures of public hookups at fraternity parties are plastered all over social media.  Texting has become the primary form of communication in relationships.  In fact, I have spent many late nights with my friends analyzing texts from boys and drawing absolutely absurd conclusions that don’t logically make sense. “So if he said this do you think he really means that? Do you think that means he doesn't want to see me anymore?”  You know what I’m referring to.  Everyone does it.  This is not how it used to be.  Something has changed in our society that seems to make all of these actions completely okay in the eyes of generation Y (aka us).

My freshman year, I went on a date with a guy who opened the car door AND paid for my dinner, no questions asked.  I was completely and utterly shocked. The real problem is that I shouldn't have been so blown away by these romantic gestures.  I should come to expect being treated like this while on a date. The problem with dating today is that simple gestures like opening the door, buying flowers and phone calls over texting are a thing of the past.  We no longer expect to be treated like we should be, because this makes whoever cares more look “weak.”  Speaking on behalf of both girls and boys, I can promise you that any relationship in which you are not being treated with respect, is no relationship to be in.  College is too short to waste time on stupid, pointless relationships that are ultimately going nowhere fast.

Also, what’s with this whole idea that “we’re talking” is an acceptable relationship status in college? Like, what does that even mean?  If you like someone, and I mean genuinely have feelings for them, don’t make it seem like you don’t care.  Don’t waste your time beating around the bush.  I know couples who have spent months “talking” until one of them had the balls to come out and admit that they wanted an exclusive relationship. Don’t make it complicated, because that’s not how it should be.  Honest and open relationships are the best relationships.

These are a few reasons why dating in college is so effed up, but it does not have to be this way.  I’m certain that one day everything will drastically change and dating will magically transform back to the way it was when our parents are grandparents were “going steady.” The way I see it, the “dating” in college that we accept right now, is totally unacceptable. Take some initiative, people.  It’s okay to care.  It’s okay to tell someone how you feel.  This goes for both boys AND girls.  Don’t waste time making it seem like you don’t care, and don’t waste your time on someone who truly doesn't. It’s time to change the way we date.

Just remember that there are still fabulous people out there who will treat you like they actually care.  No games, no trickery.  Once you get sick and tired of all the nonsense of (freshman and sophomore year mostly) dating, then you will be opened up to a whole new world of how dating SHOULD be.  After all, nearly 70 percent of couples marry someone they met in college. You never know, your recent hookup buddy could be the love of your life. Probably not, but who knows.