College was going to be hard, they all said that. I knew that. I had no issues in high school when it came to academics, and I was super involved. I knew I could handle those aspects. As a graduating senior, I chose to go to school 100 miles away from home which was adventurous on my part: I never left my little city, and I certainly didn’t have a mentor. My mother had just graduated with an online business degree, but was never a traditional student. I was entering college as a first generation traditional student, as I called it. And I was doing it with no instruction manual. Why did I choose to stay when it started to wear me down? Why didn’t I fill out those drop out forms when I so badly wanted to?
1. I was terrified.
College offered an education and a place to stay all on the fabulous security of student loans. I didn’t have to worry about finding a house or apartment that I could afford on my minimum wage "salary." Like, have you seen the price of housing?
2. Intellectual Stimulation
I could have worked (even over time), definitely. During summers I did just that. I realized, however, that my mind needs to be busy. I need intellectual stimulation. I need to be confused, or even angry over something I do not yet understand. It’s just the way I’m wired. Why would I give up a gift like that?
3. There was nothing else that interested me.
Ever since I was little and well acquainted with Meredith Grey, I fell in love with the idea of medicine (and Christina Yang, but that’s for another day). If I weren’t going in the direction of medicine, where would I go?
4. I was doing okay.
These four words are weird to write. I look back now and see that every piece had fallen into place well before I had noticed. My grades, my extracurriculars, and even my relationships were all working out even when I thought everything was going downhill. I’ve noticed this happens a lot throughout life, and it’s important to keep reminding yourself that everything will be okay.
5. I didn't want to let my family down.
It’s not typical to go to college in my family. In fact, my mother was the first to get any type of degree. But I didn’t want to let down those who believed in me. Without their confidence in me, I’m not sure I would be planning to walk across the stage.
6. I started to believe in myself.
I realized that most of my peers were feeling the same exact way. If I wanted to succeed in school and life itself, I needed to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I needed to learn true grit and hard work, and I did just that.
All-in-all, as I enter my senior year I can say I have worked damn hard to be here. I have laid the basis of my future success, and I only plan to build upon it. I have so much more to learn, and I can’t wait.
