I take pride in my hair. It’s the one thing in my life that I feel like I can have complete control over. I have grown it out consistently for the last 3 years and really only gotten it trimmed a couple of times since making the decision to take this hair journey. I was so excited to see my hair grow long and watch it get closer and closer to my waist. But then, one day out of the blue, something inside of me just kind of snapped.
I realized I wasn’t in control anymore.
I realized that my hair was spending days, even weeks, just being shoved up into a high pony or a top knot bun. It stopped being fun to curl and the idea of trying to put it up into a braid just made my arms hurt and I’d groan at the thought, give up, and shove it right back up into a bun. Suddenly, my hair controlled me. I started to hate the way it looked and I stopped loving it, and in turn, my hair caused me to love myself just a little less.
So, it had to go.
I only thought about it for a couple of days before I called up my hairdresser and made an appointment. I walked in, sat down, and bless her heart, I told her that everything I had been telling her about wanting to grow it out needed to all go out the window. I told her to just take it all, all the way up to my collar bone. She just looked at me and smiled and said, “Well, okay then”.
And it was okay.
The first cut made me want to cry, both out of fear and because I could just feel my head pop up just a little straighter. It was wonderful. Scary, but wonderful.
Over 8 inches and some bangs later, I was a new woman.
It’s a weird feeling. I went into the salon one person and came out another.
Suddenly, I couldn’t stop touching my hair. I ran my hands through it constantly and I tugged on the ends until I felt my scalp start to itch. I kept staring at myself in the mirror with just this look of awe and amazement and this constant go-between of “will I love it, or will I hate it”. I am in control again, and I love every minute of it.
Sometimes, we start to lose control. We let our school work take over our social life and we let our cravings for ice-cream take over our need to remain healthy. Sometimes, we let our hair define us. It takes just one change to take back control. It takes just one decision to take your life back into your own hands and decide who you want to be. No one wants to be a prisoner to their own life. Whether you are a prisoner to your partner, your education, or even your hair, there is a way out. There is hope. You just have to take one step, and make the cut.