There's a feeling of security that blankets you when you feel like you belong somewhere. We spend our entire childhood searching for true acceptance, but do we ever actually find it? And if we do, how long do we feel like we actually belong there?
In my case, I refuse to let other people's opinions of me determine my happiness. I started to feel lonely and left out starting in high school. It didn't make sense because I really had a lot of friends. I always had someone to talk to, cry to, say happy birthday to, and so on.
So, why was that not enough to me?
Because I did not have one consistent group of friends that I belonged to. I didn't fit in to what people would call a "clique" or "friend group". I wasn't a part of a group text with 10 other people. I wasn't secure in my weekend plans every weekend, knowing exactly who I would hang out with.
So, when I came to college over two years ago, one of my biggest goals was to find that group that would help me feel secure and made me feel like I truly fit in somewhere. Well plot twist, I have one year left of college and I still never found my crew. But here's what happened instead:
I found my best friend who turned into my roommate. I also found so many amazing people that love me individually, not me as a member of a group. It's not up to other people to make you feel secure, it's up to you and only you.
Sometimes I don't understand why people feel the need to only stick to the same seven people when it comes to hanging out, going out, and making memories. Yeah, I know that it feels nice to always have people you can depend on. But if you only continue to connect with the same small number of people, you're missing out on some amazing conversations and connections with people who could actually change your life.
If college has taught me anything, it's to NEVER settle. Things are constantly changing, so go with the flow. Savor the friendships you have, but don't be afraid to meet new people too. In my case, I go to a school of over 30,000 people. Closing myself off to potential new friends because I want to continue feeling safe with my exclusive group is not very smart.
And another thing: If you do belong to a certain group or clique, please sit back and think of how it feels when you exclude others. Many of my friends do belong to specific friend groups. Even though I am happy as a so-called "floater," it hurts when I sit with a group of people and they talk about going out that night and they ONLY want it to be their friend group.
That is why I am happy having many friends across the board. I don't want to be associated with exclusion.
