Too many times in life, I have given my all to someone that has given me nothing in return. As time went on I wanted to grow in self-love and to feel empowered. I’m not saying I didn’t possess these qualities but I lacked them in certain areas. I chose to be selfish, and in choosing to do so, I grew in selflessness. I truly have become to love my authentic self.

I have come to understand having strengths and weaknesses is intrinsically human. I embrace my flaws, as hard as it is sometimes. People learn to love your quirks and what makes you truly you. As Robert H. Schuller said, “Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” Perfection is an illusion, a wonderfully, twisted, illusion. If you have the ability to accept your flaws you start becoming truer to yourself by accepting that you are not perfect and that it will be okay. It is human.

One of the most beautiful things that come with accepting our own imperfections, is we become more open with other people's imperfections as well. Compassion and healing become easier because we have the knowledge of knowing what it was like when we struggled with our own imperfections. Our weaknesses do not define us, what we choose to do with them does. Imperfections and weaknesses are frustrating and at points cause self-loathing, but everyone suffers with something they dislike about themselves. There is beauty in our flaws.

The ability to express feelings towards others is a gift, but also towards ourselves is the greatest gift of all. I truly believe by noticing our weaknesses we are able to find our strengths. I have always been the type of friend that put other people’s lives, problems, and wants ultimately above mine. I started to feel as though their lives were dictating how I was feeling or even leading me down a different course for my life. Once I was able to realize it was acceptable for me to think about what I wanted, incredible things started happening in my life.

Selfishness is often thought as a negative response to a situation. This article isn’t giving license to the reader to obsess about themselves. I am simply empowering you to work on yourself, for yourself, by yourself. No one can force you to focus on your health and mental well-being but you. Focus on you, until the focus is on you. One of the most important lessons I have learned in my life is truly learning to love myself, instead of loving the idea of other people loving me.

Sincerely,

The Girl That Chose Selfishness