Ask anyone, "Are you a cat or dog person?" and nine times out of 10 they'll say "dog." I'm sorry to all the dog people out there, but you're not giving cats enough credit. I have a giant 22-pound cat who is the snuggliest (not a word, but it is now) ball of fur I've ever held. People always say, "Ew cats are so mean they just hide and hiss at you and scratch you and don't do anything" but that's so untrue!! How can you see any malice in this cutie?

I see why dogs are considered "cute" and "lovable" but personally they don't appeal to me. I don't want their slobbery tongue all over my face and I definitely do not want to go out during the cold Boston winter and walk the damn thing at five in the morning so it can pee. Also, although nobody that owns a dog will admit it, they smell. I will look at pictures and agree your dog is cute, but if I see that thing in person I may not be so affectionate. This is my fat cat, love him or hate him.

Let me tell you all about the wonderful things cats do.

1. They cuddle up next to you in bed at night and purr while you pet them.

2. They rub up against you while you're cooking in the kitchen because they want a little human food because they love ya so much.

3. They will sit next to you and watch you're favorite TV shows.

4. You can pick them up whenever you please and they will bring you utter happiness and release stress.

5. They will let you cry into their big, fat, furry tummies when you're sad.

6. They clean themselves and go to the bathroom when they please so they're not a burden.

7. Did I mention how snuggly they are?

8. They let you dress them up and play with them.

9. Cats are awesome! Bye haters!