In today’s society, there is the continuous notion that women should be able to wear whatever they want. While that notion is not necessarily bad, I do not wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment.

Frankly, I believe that Sunday best clothing is the only clothing anyone should wear.

When you see someone in sweatpants and a hoodie when it’s cold outside, what are you supposed to think? Sure, most people probably don’t think anything of it, but not me. I am a firm believer in the popular phrase, “If you aren’t wearing a bright blue dress in 30 degree and rainy weather, how are you going to be noticed?” You know, because clearly getting sick is the only way to get noticed.

And what about when it’s 89 degrees outside? Honestly, what else are you supposed to wear? Shorts and a tank top? No, sir. If you aren’t wearing black pants and a button up, don’t even think about approaching me.

You have to dress for success all the time. Screw comfort! Especially if you’re about to take a long trip. Why would you want to wear leggings on a 7 hour flight? News flash, ladies! You’re only subjecting yourself to the male gaze! Especially since the male gaze has nothing to do with how a woman is dressed and more so with how masculinity is implemented in society perception!

In fact, unless you are wearing the most conservative of Sunday bests, you probably shouldn’t even leave the house.

Not that anyone actually cares, but I judge everyone and everything and I’ll see you and look at you and I might even give my input over Facebook on why dresses and pants suits should legally be the only acceptable clothing.

If you want to know the truth, I have a plan.

First, Congress passes a law that states everyone must wear their Sunday best on Sunday. It only makes sense, right? Sunday best on Sunday only! Just ignore the Christian connotations that go along with it and ignore the melting pot of different religions and cultures in America. Who needs separation of church and state anyway?

Then, change the calendar so that every day is Sunday. Except, just so people can still go to class and work, name it by Sunday 1, Sunday 2, Sunday 3, etc. This way, there is not classification on which Sunday you need to wear your Sunday best on. So to follow the laws, everyone has to wear their Sunday best on every Sunday!

Eventually, I plan to go on an imperialist domination and enact these laws everywhere to make sure the entire world is wearing their Sunday best.