Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Past friendships can still hurt you.
535
views

Usually, I'm the friend who is always trying to make sure that everyone around me feels good. I never allow anyone around me to be in a bad mood because I live under a certain philosophy which is that life is most definitely too short. But if there is anything that the last few years have taught me it is that you really 100 percent can't please anyone.

Every time I get moments to myself, I have flashbacks back to certain moments that I was certainly not proud of. But the moments that really get to me would have to be trusting people who I thought were my 'best friends,' only to realize that their true colors showed through the end of the friendship.

Words can't express how hurt I've been from past mistakes when it came to friendships. I'll never forget one former friend in particular who I made friends with a few years ago only to find out that she would grow jealous of me and her friend getting closer. The closer we would get the more manipulative she would become to make sure that we were not together.

But she was not the only one, I'm guilty of thinking that certain people deserve to be given a chance, and when some would find ways to insult my friends or friends at the time, I would grow confused, angry, and sometimes sad because it gave certain people an impression that I enjoy surrounding myself with people who are either immature, insensitive, or overall have a strong personality. If I could sit here and say that I'm not 100 percent hurt while typing this, you're wrong.

This was an issue that has been ongoing for most of my life. I've always had a fear of feeling left out of anything. All I wanted was to fit in and feel accepted. I've never wanted to be looked at as the weird kid or the girl that's 'different.' Everyone that I've called my friend is someone that I thought was there for me through all the bad times that I've ever gone through.

But mistakenly, if they were nice to me I took it as if they were instantly friendly. I'm embarrassed to say the least, and the fact that it carried through most of my young adulthood has me in shambles. But over the course of the past few years, I've been allowing certain people in my life due to many events that have taken place. But there comes a point where I can't continue to dwell on what has happened. I've given myself time to realize who was truly there for me when I needed them.

Then I also realized...that there comes a point where you don't need them all the time. Of course, you're going to have friends there for you that will always be there when you want to laugh, talk about the most random topics, or just to hang out and have drinks with. But then there are those friends that you can call when you're feeling stuck and don't know who else to turn to. THOSE are the friends that you stick with! As hard as they are to find these days...I can rest assure that they are out there. Trust me.

As hard as it might be to believe in some people, they're not all terrible to trust. However, continue to keep your guard up when it comes to meeting new people, and don't sell yourself too short. People may suck sometimes, but there are others out there that give hope. So to every individual that has ever taken advantage or used me in any way, you've taught me the importance in who was really truly there and who just wanted me there because they wanted to be nice.

Bottom line is friends don't try to pull you down, make you feel awful about yourself, make fun of your insecurities and weaknesses, or try to change your appearance because you don't fit societies standards. Keep those people away as far as possible. I wish younger me learned that earlier in life, but I was just afraid of being rejected all the time that I didn't care. Now knowing my self-worth and removing all the toxic from my life I've never felt more proud of my appearance in my life. I may not be all the way there yet, but I'm happy to say I'm getting there.

Cover Image Credit: unsplash

Popular Right Now

10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

30107
views

1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

5 Times That Kylie Jenner & Jordyn Woods Were Accurate Depictions Of You And Your BFF

Best friend? More like wife for life!

tiannat
tiannat
93
views

Whether it's celebrity couples or celebrity best friends, everyone has that one pair that they are obsessed with. My best friend and I happen to be obsessed with Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods. Even though Kylie is a billionaire and Jordyn is extremely famous, unlike my BFF and I, we can relate to them on so many levels. They are fun, spontaneous, and they always have each other's backs. Trust me, once you start relating to them, you and your BFF will be DM'ing all the Kylie and Jordyn pics to each other with the caption, "Us."

1. They make a ton of memories together.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnuEpZ8BwWi/

Kylie and Jordyn have been BFF's since around 2013 and have made so many memories together. From matching tattoos, Kylie's own show "Life of Kylie" which featured Jordyn heavily, adopting a dog together, and of course, the birth of Stormi. Jordyn and Kylie have been linked to the hip and have tons of proof to look back on their friendship. I mean, who else makes an entire makeup collab with their BFF?

2. They support each other's accomplishments.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BlGreSAnCfj/

Through all the accomplishments in my BFF's life, I'm front and center. Whether that's being accepted to her dream school or who knows, maybe your BFF is the youngest self-made billionaire. The last option is probably very unlikely, but for Jordyn, it happened! Best friend, Kylie Jenner, became the youngest self-made billionaire this year and Jordyn supported Kylie and her success along the way. Whether that was posting a picture on Instagram or collaborating with Kylie on her makeup line, Jordyn was there every step of the way!

3. Their Instagrams together are BFF goals.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgZuiACHWGT/

They might as well be called the Instagram queens because my BFF's and I are constantly trying to replicate their outfits, poses, and pics! Basically, can they drop their secrets, please?

4. They have each other's backs through everything.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BsyNWv8nNBt/

Through the crazy drama, love lives, and Kylie's pregnancy, these girls have stuck through it all. Kylie and Jordyn have been friends for multiple years. These years included the Kardashian/Jenner rise to fame, Kylie's makeup line, Jordyn's father passing away, and Kylie finding out she was pregnant with her daughter, Stormi. A true best friend stands by your side through anything and everything. I know that I would do anything for my best friend and have been there for her since day 1. This is just the rule to friendship and Kylie and Jordyn do a great job at abiding by it.

5. At the end of the day, they are normal best friends.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-3b6i1WQaI

Sure, Kylie and Jordyn live a fabulous lifestyle. We all can't attend Astroworld or be close friends with celebs like Jaden Smith and Anastasia Karanikolaou. But, at the end of the day, Kylie and Jordyn are just normal young adults. The girls love binging Netflix and trying out new recipes for Chrissy Teagan's new cookbook. I know that my BFF and I love watching marathons of New Girl and cooking up cute dinners for us. We basically live the same life as Ky and Jordy.

All in all, these girls have been through hell and back. As two very famous young women, their lives are constantly filled with crazy opportunities and events. So far, they have had each other's backs through thick and thin. Let's hope this friendship sticks together, forever.

tiannat
tiannat

Related Content

Facebook Comments