Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Past friendships can still hurt you.

Usually, I'm the friend who is always trying to make sure that everyone around me feels good. I never allow anyone around me to be in a bad mood because I live under a certain philosophy which is that life is most definitely too short. But if there is anything that the last few years have taught me it is that you really 100 percent can't please anyone.

Every time I get moments to myself, I have flashbacks back to certain moments that I was certainly not proud of. But the moments that really get to me would have to be trusting people who I thought were my 'best friends,' only to realize that their true colors showed through the end of the friendship.

Words can't express how hurt I've been from past mistakes when it came to friendships. I'll never forget one former friend in particular who I made friends with a few years ago only to find out that she would grow jealous of me and her friend getting closer. The closer we would get the more manipulative she would become to make sure that we were not together.

But she was not the only one, I'm guilty of thinking that certain people deserve to be given a chance, and when some would find ways to insult my friends or friends at the time, I would grow confused, angry, and sometimes sad because it gave certain people an impression that I enjoy surrounding myself with people who are either immature, insensitive, or overall have a strong personality. If I could sit here and say that I'm not 100 percent hurt while typing this, you're wrong.

This was an issue that has been ongoing for most of my life. I've always had a fear of feeling left out of anything. All I wanted was to fit in and feel accepted. I've never wanted to be looked at as the weird kid or the girl that's 'different.' Everyone that I've called my friend is someone that I thought was there for me through all the bad times that I've ever gone through.

But mistakenly, if they were nice to me I took it as if they were instantly friendly. I'm embarrassed to say the least, and the fact that it carried through most of my young adulthood has me in shambles. But over the course of the past few years, I've been allowing certain people in my life due to many events that have taken place. But there comes a point where I can't continue to dwell on what has happened. I've given myself time to realize who was truly there for me when I needed them.

Then I also realized...that there comes a point where you don't need them all the time. Of course, you're going to have friends there for you that will always be there when you want to laugh, talk about the most random topics, or just to hang out and have drinks with. But then there are those friends that you can call when you're feeling stuck and don't know who else to turn to. THOSE are the friends that you stick with! As hard as they are to find these days...I can rest assure that they are out there. Trust me.

As hard as it might be to believe in some people, they're not all terrible to trust. However, continue to keep your guard up when it comes to meeting new people, and don't sell yourself too short. People may suck sometimes, but there are others out there that give hope. So to every individual that has ever taken advantage or used me in any way, you've taught me the importance in who was really truly there and who just wanted me there because they wanted to be nice.

Bottom line is friends don't try to pull you down, make you feel awful about yourself, make fun of your insecurities and weaknesses, or try to change your appearance because you don't fit societies standards. Keep those people away as far as possible. I wish younger me learned that earlier in life, but I was just afraid of being rejected all the time that I didn't care. Now knowing my self-worth and removing all the toxic from my life I've never felt more proud of my appearance in my life. I may not be all the way there yet, but I'm happy to say I'm getting there.

Cover Image Credit: unsplash

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*complains about not having money* *spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee"

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your dm's."

*cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

Separation anxiety is a real thing, people.

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *loses phone* every. time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*tries to get ready to do something fun* *ends up staying in for another girls night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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To The Friends Who Became My Family

Most of us didn't know each other but we felt this energy and connection that would connect us for life

I've always felt like an outsider no matter where I've gone. Almost like I would never find my place in this world. The moment that I thought I'd found it, my world turned upside down, at the time I thought I'd never bounce back. I was so very wrong.

A few months later after going down that road, I was introduced to this amazing group of people who had come from so many different places and recently formed together. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and when it comes to this moment in my life I know that it's true. These people have brought so much opportunity and positivity into my life. They've given me the drive to be this amazing person. I never knew where I belonged, I felt like a misfit toy, or the puzzle in the 100-piece box that doesn't fit, no matter which way you move it.

They made me feel like I could belong anywhere, with anyone.

They've given this new view of life that I've been lacking. A lot has to do with my own level of confidence, and they've truly helped build that.

After meeting them the world began to make sense again. I was able to find my way for the first time in years. I wouldn't be the person I am today without having them in my life. They've made me realize that in college I'm the guys' girl, and I love having all my guy friends. I would be completely lost without them. I was able to see all the good in the world that I was unable to see before. I know always see the most positive outlook on everything.

Now that I see the world in a new light, it seems that the world has seen me for who I truly am.

After coming together with these people I've met so many amazing people who I never thought I would meet in my life or be friends with. I've never been luckier in my life than the moment that they all walked into it. I felt like they saved me from a dark hole, and I have no idea how to thank them, other than writing an article to show my gratitude.

This one is for y'all, so thank you.

Thank you for being there when I need it, for having my back no matter what, and for pushing me. I didn't think that I could do or be half the person I am, but because of you, I am. I am myself for the first time in life, and I have no shame about who that is.

I miss you guys and wouldn't be able to survive college without you. I know that when we all venture away from each other and no longer live together we will make sure that once a year we come together. We try for once a month and have done such a good job at that, but when life gets busy I know that once a year will be enough because it will seem like no time has ever been spent apart.

To those reading this, if you find a group that makes you feel this way or even just a few people, don't ever let them go. Make the time to see each other and don't lose touch.

Life gets hard, but it without your people makes it so much harder.

I love my team, I love my squad. The moment that we first all "prayed" together I felt slightly ridiculous but then I realized that we all come from different places, and different backgrounds, but at that moment, we came together. Most of us didn't know each other but we felt this energy and connection that would connect us for life.

So here is what I want to say to you "I've always felt like an outsider, and I've had friends, a lot. I've even had friends that I love and couldn't live without, but you guys have become my family, you have become these people that I couldn't imagine living without. In such a short time you've become amazing human beings who I've seen grow and prosper throughout these friendships that each and every one of us has made. I wouldn't change the world for the moment we have, and the memories we all make.

You guys are my family, and I can't thank you enough for saving me because you truly have.

Cover Image Credit: Maddison Boys

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