Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Past friendships can still hurt you.

Usually, I'm the friend who is always trying to make sure that everyone around me feels good. I never allow anyone around me to be in a bad mood because I live under a certain philosophy which is that life is most definitely too short. But if there is anything that the last few years have taught me it is that you really 100 percent can't please anyone.

Every time I get moments to myself, I have flashbacks back to certain moments that I was certainly not proud of. But the moments that really get to me would have to be trusting people who I thought were my 'best friends,' only to realize that their true colors showed through the end of the friendship.

Words can't express how hurt I've been from past mistakes when it came to friendships. I'll never forget one former friend in particular who I made friends with a few years ago only to find out that she would grow jealous of me and her friend getting closer. The closer we would get the more manipulative she would become to make sure that we were not together.

But she was not the only one, I'm guilty of thinking that certain people deserve to be given a chance, and when some would find ways to insult my friends or friends at the time, I would grow confused, angry, and sometimes sad because it gave certain people an impression that I enjoy surrounding myself with people who are either immature, insensitive, or overall have a strong personality. If I could sit here and say that I'm not 100 percent hurt while typing this, you're wrong.

This was an issue that has been ongoing for most of my life. I've always had a fear of feeling left out of anything. All I wanted was to fit in and feel accepted. I've never wanted to be looked at as the weird kid or the girl that's 'different.' Everyone that I've called my friend is someone that I thought was there for me through all the bad times that I've ever gone through.

But mistakenly, if they were nice to me I took it as if they were instantly friendly. I'm embarrassed to say the least, and the fact that it carried through most of my young adulthood has me in shambles. But over the course of the past few years, I've been allowing certain people in my life due to many events that have taken place. But there comes a point where I can't continue to dwell on what has happened. I've given myself time to realize who was truly there for me when I needed them.

Then I also realized...that there comes a point where you don't need them all the time. Of course, you're going to have friends there for you that will always be there when you want to laugh, talk about the most random topics, or just to hang out and have drinks with. But then there are those friends that you can call when you're feeling stuck and don't know who else to turn to. THOSE are the friends that you stick with! As hard as they are to find these days...I can rest assure that they are out there. Trust me.

As hard as it might be to believe in some people, they're not all terrible to trust. However, continue to keep your guard up when it comes to meeting new people, and don't sell yourself too short. People may suck sometimes, but there are others out there that give hope. So to every individual that has ever taken advantage or used me in any way, you've taught me the importance in who was really truly there and who just wanted me there because they wanted to be nice.

Bottom line is friends don't try to pull you down, make you feel awful about yourself, make fun of your insecurities and weaknesses, or try to change your appearance because you don't fit societies standards. Keep those people away as far as possible. I wish younger me learned that earlier in life, but I was just afraid of being rejected all the time that I didn't care. Now knowing my self-worth and removing all the toxic from my life I've never felt more proud of my appearance in my life. I may not be all the way there yet, but I'm happy to say I'm getting there.

Cover Image Credit: unsplash

Popular Right Now

Platonic Relationships Are Just As Valid As Romantic Relationships

Your platonic friends deserve just as much love.

When people think of "relationships," they often think of two people who are in love and are dating; and often the things that come with it like flowers, chocolates, and dinner dates.

Society likes to tell the world that their lives will not be worth living unless they are in a romantic relationship, and it makes young teenagers feel insecure because they don't have a significant other. This can be a harmful mindset to have because nobody should feel insecure about not having a significant other. However, everyone should feel grateful for platonic love.

There have been many articles all over the internet entitled things like "Can a man and a woman be just friends?" and in my humble and honest opinion, I think those are some of the dumbest articles ever to be written on the internet.

All I could think to myself was "of course a man and a woman can be just friends! Are these articles for real?" I just couldn't stomach what many of these articles were saying, because in many ways, being in a platonic relationship can be just as rewarding, if not more, as being in a romantic relationship.

The simple truth is, a guy and a girl can be friends; but since society pushes romantic relationships on everyone like it's nobody's business, many people, especially teenagers, dismiss platonic love as "nothing special," and feel bad whenever they don't have a romantic partner in their lives. It has made a negative impact on our society because of this, and this is the type of thought that desperately needs to be unlearned by all.

Having a romantic partner is not a bad thing by any means. I love seeing my friends in happy romantic relationships with people they love. It really does make me happy. What bugs me is how many people don't value platonic love in the same way, when it deserves just as much value as romantic love. I don't like seeing singles being bitter about seeing happy couples everywhere because they don't have a significant other of their own. What I'm trying to say is that whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, the relationships you have with your platonic friends are just as valid.

And if you don't have a significant other, that's perfectly okay. You are not any less valid just because you're not in a romantic relationship. Having platonic friends are just as valid, and your relationships with them are just as valid and should be valued. Whether someone is in a romantic relationship or not, everyone has platonic relationships, and they deserve just as much love and value as romantic ones.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Yes, You're Still 100 Percent My Best Friend Even Though You Go To A Different College

I can always count on you.

Dear You,

Our first year of college is closely coming to an end, and let me tell you, it has been different without you by my side. There's always things that I see go on around campus here and think to myself that I wish you were there to see it. It's crazy how we went from seeing each other every day to maybe once or twice every 3 months.

You have helped me through some of the lowest points in my life and I'll forever be grateful for that. I can truly count on you for anything. You know exactly how to cheer me up and how to make me laugh when I'm feeling down. You have made me want to be apart of this earth.

I miss our dates to the beach, going to the park and watching the sunset, grabbing snow-cones and so much more. However, I already know that once summer comes again, we will be able to experience all of those again. We have so many memories throughout our life together that I know I'll cherish forever. I can't thank you enough for the endless laughs and smiles. Thank you for blaring and enjoying the same music as much as I do. Thank you for letting our friendship still remain this strong even though we are 200 something miles apart.

You're the type of friend who I want in my life for eternity. I can't wait to have you by my side as one of my bridesmaids when I eventually get married. I know I will be telling my kids all about you in the future on how great of a friend you were to me and hopefully you'll be there to be apart of their lives as well. I already know wherever we end up in our future, I'll always have a piece of you in my heart with me at all times. I love you with all that I have and already am counting down the days until I see you next.


Your Best Friend (Lerx, Alex, Liz, Alexis)

Cover Image Credit: PX Here

Related Content

Facebook Comments