Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Why Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Past friendships can still hurt you.

Usually, I'm the friend who is always trying to make sure that everyone around me feels good. I never allow anyone around me to be in a bad mood because I live under a certain philosophy which is that life is most definitely too short. But if there is anything that the last few years have taught me it is that you really 100 percent can't please anyone.

Every time I get moments to myself, I have flashbacks back to certain moments that I was certainly not proud of. But the moments that really get to me would have to be trusting people who I thought were my 'best friends,' only to realize that their true colors showed through the end of the friendship.

Words can't express how hurt I've been from past mistakes when it came to friendships. I'll never forget one former friend in particular who I made friends with a few years ago only to find out that she would grow jealous of me and her friend getting closer. The closer we would get the more manipulative she would become to make sure that we were not together.

But she was not the only one, I'm guilty of thinking that certain people deserve to be given a chance, and when some would find ways to insult my friends or friends at the time, I would grow confused, angry, and sometimes sad because it gave certain people an impression that I enjoy surrounding myself with people who are either immature, insensitive, or overall have a strong personality. If I could sit here and say that I'm not 100 percent hurt while typing this, you're wrong.

This was an issue that has been ongoing for most of my life. I've always had a fear of feeling left out of anything. All I wanted was to fit in and feel accepted. I've never wanted to be looked at as the weird kid or the girl that's 'different.' Everyone that I've called my friend is someone that I thought was there for me through all the bad times that I've ever gone through.

But mistakenly, if they were nice to me I took it as if they were instantly friendly. I'm embarrassed to say the least, and the fact that it carried through most of my young adulthood has me in shambles. But over the course of the past few years, I've been allowing certain people in my life due to many events that have taken place. But there comes a point where I can't continue to dwell on what has happened. I've given myself time to realize who was truly there for me when I needed them.

Then I also realized...that there comes a point where you don't need them all the time. Of course, you're going to have friends there for you that will always be there when you want to laugh, talk about the most random topics, or just to hang out and have drinks with. But then there are those friends that you can call when you're feeling stuck and don't know who else to turn to. THOSE are the friends that you stick with! As hard as they are to find these days...I can rest assure that they are out there. Trust me.

As hard as it might be to believe in some people, they're not all terrible to trust. However, continue to keep your guard up when it comes to meeting new people, and don't sell yourself too short. People may suck sometimes, but there are others out there that give hope. So to every individual that has ever taken advantage or used me in any way, you've taught me the importance in who was really truly there and who just wanted me there because they wanted to be nice.

Bottom line is friends don't try to pull you down, make you feel awful about yourself, make fun of your insecurities and weaknesses, or try to change your appearance because you don't fit societies standards. Keep those people away as far as possible. I wish younger me learned that earlier in life, but I was just afraid of being rejected all the time that I didn't care. Now knowing my self-worth and removing all the toxic from my life I've never felt more proud of my appearance in my life. I may not be all the way there yet, but I'm happy to say I'm getting there.

Cover Image Credit: unsplash

Popular Right Now

Dear Mom, I Hope You Know

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

Dear Mom,

I hope you know that I appreciate you.

You are the hardest working woman I know, continuously putting your family before yourself. Thank you for doing all of the tedious jobs that no one wants to do like keeping the house in order, cooking the food, and doing the laundry. Thank you for constantly putting up with my siblings and I. Thank you for always supporting us in our interests and hobbies. Thank you for investing in our daily lives and listening to our minor problems. Thank you for always loving us unconditionally.

SEE ALSO: 51 Things My Mom Didn't Think I Was Listening To...

I hope you know I'm sorry.

I know I can be a big pain in the butt sometimes, and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, arguing with you, not listening to you, and making dumb decisions at times, but thank you for loving me anyways. Thank you for helping me stand back up, teaching me right from wrong, and pushing me to be the very best version of me.

I hope you know your love inspires me.

You live your life with a love that is contagious. Whether its nurturing love, tough love, friendly love, or romantic love, you have it all and you show it daily. The love you and Dad share is something I hope to find one day and the love you have for your family is evident in the way you constantly put us first.

I hope you know that you are my biggest role model and hero.

Ever since I was a little girl, you have been the person I have looked to in my life. You are strong, independent, confident, loving, supportive, and nurturing-- everything I strive to be as a woman and as a future mother. You give the best advice, even when I don't always take it. Though, I should know better by now because mothers always know best. Without you in my life, I honestly don't know where I'd be.

I hope you know that you are my best friend.

Not only are you my biggest cheerleader supporting me in everything I do, you are the person I talk to about everything, whether it's good or bad. I'm honestly so thankful for the relationship we share because I've had countless screwups and you literally give the best advice. Seriously, thank you for being the person I can count on at all times, at any time of the day or even night to just talk with. I mean we really do have some of the best conversations, best laughs, best cries (when needed), and the most fun watching cheesy chick flicks together or going on crazy shopping adventures.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl With The Cool Mom

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

I don't mean to make you cry or anything -- even though you probably already are, but I want you to know that when the time comes, I'm going to be there for you just like all of these years you've been here for me. I will be there to support you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and love you for all of my life.

Honestly, I can't really imagine my life without you -- but it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be here without you, so here's to you.

Thank you for being you.

Love you lots!

Your daughter.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Don't Let Others Stop You From Living The Life You Love

How people treat you isn't your fault. Stop caring about what other think of you. It's a reflection on them, not you.


I have always wondered why some people go through life so unkind. There are so many people I can't help but wonder what a taste of their own medicine would feel like. But, I have realized that being treated poorly is not a reflection on you, but rather a reflection on them.

Never doubt who you are because someone tells you who they think you are. Never fall into and be the person you are made out to be.

No one knows you better than you know yourself. So carry yourself with pride and confidence. Never let the mean in people bring out a mean in you. Sometimes that is easier said than done.

It's not always easy choosing to take the high road. It is however so much more rewarding. It's not always easy choosing to be kind when life is mean. It is, however, better to be silent than become someone you are not.

There are always going to be people in life that don't see you for who you are. Not everyone in life is going to life you. You truly can't please everyone and that is okay.

You don't have to change the person you are to make the people who don't like you, like you.

We all have different images of each other. People idolize, others hate. We all see people in a different light. People who I think are funny, aren't funny to everyone else. Stay true to yourself and the right people will stay true to you. People will always treat you bad based on an image they have of you.

There's always going to be people that think they truly know you, but don't. How people perceive you has to do with who they are. Stop listening to perceptions about yourself and start living who you are. Be happy. Raise about negative treatment and unkind people. Be around people who see the person you are and empower that greatness within you. Be kind. As my parents always told me to "kill them with kindness." Easier said than done, but something to be reminded of everyday!

Related Content

Facebook Comments