Usually, I'm the friend who is always trying to make sure that everyone around me feels good. I never allow anyone around me to be in a bad mood because I live under a certain philosophy which is that life is most definitely too short. But if there is anything that the last few years have taught me it is that you really 100 percent can't please anyone.

Every time I get moments to myself, I have flashbacks back to certain moments that I was certainly not proud of. But the moments that really get to me would have to be trusting people who I thought were my 'best friends,' only to realize that their true colors showed through the end of the friendship.

Words can't express how hurt I've been from past mistakes when it came to friendships. I'll never forget one former friend in particular who I made friends with a few years ago only to find out that she would grow jealous of me and her friend getting closer. The closer we would get the more manipulative she would become to make sure that we were not together.

But she was not the only one, I'm guilty of thinking that certain people deserve to be given a chance, and when some would find ways to insult my friends or friends at the time, I would grow confused, angry, and sometimes sad because it gave certain people an impression that I enjoy surrounding myself with people who are either immature, insensitive, or overall have a strong personality. If I could sit here and say that I'm not 100 percent hurt while typing this, you're wrong.

This was an issue that has been ongoing for most of my life. I've always had a fear of feeling left out of anything. All I wanted was to fit in and feel accepted. I've never wanted to be looked at as the weird kid or the girl that's 'different.' Everyone that I've called my friend is someone that I thought was there for me through all the bad times that I've ever gone through.

But mistakenly, if they were nice to me I took it as if they were instantly friendly. I'm embarrassed to say the least, and the fact that it carried through most of my young adulthood has me in shambles. But over the course of the past few years, I've been allowing certain people in my life due to many events that have taken place. But there comes a point where I can't continue to dwell on what has happened. I've given myself time to realize who was truly there for me when I needed them.

Then I also realized...that there comes a point where you don't need them all the time. Of course, you're going to have friends there for you that will always be there when you want to laugh, talk about the most random topics, or just to hang out and have drinks with. But then there are those friends that you can call when you're feeling stuck and don't know who else to turn to. THOSE are the friends that you stick with! As hard as they are to find these days...I can rest assure that they are out there. Trust me.

As hard as it might be to believe in some people, they're not all terrible to trust. However, continue to keep your guard up when it comes to meeting new people, and don't sell yourself too short. People may suck sometimes, but there are others out there that give hope. So to every individual that has ever taken advantage or used me in any way, you've taught me the importance in who was really truly there and who just wanted me there because they wanted to be nice.

Bottom line is friends don't try to pull you down, make you feel awful about yourself, make fun of your insecurities and weaknesses, or try to change your appearance because you don't fit societies standards. Keep those people away as far as possible. I wish younger me learned that earlier in life, but I was just afraid of being rejected all the time that I didn't care. Now knowing my self-worth and removing all the toxic from my life I've never felt more proud of my appearance in my life. I may not be all the way there yet, but I'm happy to say I'm getting there.