I’ve always been the mom friend. Ever since I was a child, there was an instinctual urge just to protect those around me no matter what the cost. I’m that person people come to in their time of need for advice or just a shoulder to cry on. I’m that person who carries Band-Aids, safety pins and extra snacks in her purse because, dammit, you need to eat or you’re going to pass out and I can’t handle that stress. I constantly “soccer mom”— the term we coined to describe the act of throwing out your arm to protect the passenger when driving— when I have to come to a sudden stop. I once soccer mom-ed my best friend and she was the one driving.
You laugh, but I am legitimately more concerned over the safety of my friends than I am for my own.
Being the mom friend of your group is great. You usually get to be in charge of plans or at least have a definite say in what’s happening. There’s a certain sense of pride when you’re watching one of your “babies” do something great that you don’t feel for just anyone. You’re constantly prepared for any emotional trauma with tissues and ice cream at the ready, or you’re always prepared for those unexpected wardrobe malfunctions with a needle and thread at a moment’s notice. You get to threaten your friends’ boyfriends and have that threat be both a joke and legitimately threatening.
There’s a certain wisdom that comes with the role as well. All those times you’re giving advice, you come out sounding eloquent, even if you don’t know what the heck you’re talking about. It’s because your friends mean the most to you, and suddenly an angelic choir begins singing behind you as you type out a five text long masterpiece of guidance. When things work out, you go right back to playing the proud mom.
However, there are definite downsides to being the mom friend.
To quote the age old Uncle Ben from Marvel’s "Spider-man" (RIP), “With great power comes great responsibility.” There’s a constant pressure to be the responsible person in the group. You are either the stick in the mud, or you get to miss out on some of the fun because you’re the one keeping everyone’s head above water or out of jail. I remember I would simply not sneak into see a movie with my friends because I just had this gut feeling we were going to get caught and get in so much trouble. (By the way, that movie was "Cars 2," and I have a feeling now no one would have cared if they found us.)
When you’re the mom friend, there are times you don’t get to have a mom friend, and therefore sometimes you feel like you have to cry to yourself about everything because you don’t want to burden them with your sad thoughts when they also have sad thoughts. You’re the kind of person that everyone comes to, but you don’t go to anyone.
All that being said, I’m still proud to call myself the mom friend. You get to watch your beautiful, amazing friends blossom into beautiful flowers of talent and self-confidence because that is what they are, inside and out.
Congratulations. You are now my children. Welcome to the family. Have a juice box.
