I am nineteen years old. I am in college. I am single. And I came to the realization not too long ago that being single is not the end of the world.
Being single in today’s crazy world can be a little…well, crazy. We’ve got conflicting messages about romance flying every which way. First, we’ve got the media showing us that having a significant other equals happiness, and then we’ve got the empowered females over there saying that “an independent woman doesn’t need a man”, and then you’ve got your own conflicting feelings about it (yes a relationship would be nice…but ew. Boys.), and then there’s the fact that there might not be a boy around you that you’re super interested in at the moment (or if there is one, maybe he doesn’t feel the same way), and you’re stuck wondering if love is every going to come your way or if you going to spend the rest of your life as a cat lady.
I understand, my dear.
Being single can be rough – especially when people treat it like an unfortunate circumstance that should be avoided at all costs.
I’ve recently realized that girls have a tendency to treat singleness like an “in-between” stage of life (I’m guilty of this too so don’t worry, I’m not pointing fingers). It’s like whenever we’re single, we find ourselves always looking for the next thing. The next person, the next romantic interest, the next potential relationship…we’re programmed to constantly plan for the future. But if we step back from the situation for a second and think about it, it’s probably realistic to say that eventually, somewhere down the road, we will find our person (unless you aren’t interested in ever having a romantic relationship with someone. That’s okay too). So obsessing over it is kind of pointless because if it’s meant to be, it will happen, right? I’m personally very excited and hopeful that I’ll find my forever person. But I’ve also come to an incredibly important conclusion: Being single doesn’t need to be treated like an “in-between” thing.
Think about it: You can either spend your days wishing for someone incredible to come waltzing into your life and pining for the day you can finally say that you have a wonderful significant other…or you can enjoy your own company, work towards your own personal goals and embrace your singleness like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
Because really, being single can actually be pretty enjoyable – if you do it right. Being single allows for us to focus on ourselves for ourselves. Being single means chilling with your girlfriends and creating hysterical memories that you’ll never forget. It means accepting your present state of being and having peace about it. It means being free to do what you want to do. Being single gives you the opportunity to grow in self-love and understand your self-worth as a woman. You don’t want to look back on your life and see all the opportunities you missed because you were too busy trying to get out of your single stage of life.
Now don’t get me wrong! I’m not suggesting that you swear off love for all eternity. Love is great. Being “in like” with someone (as my roommate would say) is great. Romantic relationships (healthy ones, mind you) are great. But I think that sometimes we become so preoccupied with finding “the one” that we forget that we’re amazing all by ourselves.If you are meant to be in a relationship, your person will come around. I truly believe that. But until then, maybe your “in-between” single stage of life is actually a blessing in disguise.