Paying too much attention to the self has always had a negative connotation to it. Spend a lot of time on your appearance, and you're vain. Think too highly of yourself, and you're conceited. And if you have a substantial amount of pride, people will say you have a huge ego.

While it's true that having an excessive amount of pride or being too vain can be unhealthy, there's another trait--also associated with attention to the self--that is thought of in a negative light: selfishness.

But is it really?

Too often people will try to smack you with "You're so selfish!" as an insult or a way to incite guilt. "Why aren't you thinking of others more?" "Why aren't you being more considerate?" "Why are you only doing what you want to do?"

To an extent, it's usually a pretty fair stab. Doing right by other people is an obligation for anyone who actually wants to interact and get along with other human beings, and stepping on or over said people to get what you want can leave a bad taste in their mouth, among other things. But sometimes it's taken a bit too far, to the point where people will throw it at you just because they aren't getting what they want. It's about time for people to start asking themselves, when faced with this accusation, "Why not be selfish?"

Think of it this way, thinking of yourself, caring for yourself or doing something nice for yourself is not the same thing as being selfish. And doing so does not make you a bad person. Is it selfish to stay home on the weekend if you've had a rough week, even if your friends are begging you to come out and have fun? Is it selfish to splurge on yourself once in while, instead of holding that money to spend on others?

Some people may not like it, but it's important that you keep your own health, your own desires, your own goals and so on, on your list of priorities alongside everyone else's. Sacrificing a little of what you want or need here or there for the sake of others is a commendable thing, but you should never come last in your own life.

If you have to have a day to yourself when you're feeling a little down to cheer yourself up, that's okay. If you end up needing to spend less time with friends to focus on bettering yourself, who can blame you? If someone tries to get you to go along with something and they want you to just "do it for them," remember that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do.

Remember that's it's not a sin to put yourself first when you really need to and don't let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. Take care of yourself.