In my life it has always been easier for me to feel negativity, surpass judgment on others and focus on things that just did not bring me any happiness. It was not until I was 22 years old that I realized why it has been much easier for me to focus on negativity rather than positivity.
Throughout life, many people suffer tragic events, losses and hardships. Our brain tries to find coping mechanisms to fight these problems, or "flight". If we cannot find a way to cope, we either push it to the backs of our brains or we let it consume us. Everyday we fight these battles and focus on the pain they have brought to our lives; we never try to find a way to build from it or learn from it. Simply, because it is easier to focus on the bad rather than the good.
On an online article from Verywellmind.com, "What is The Negativity Bias?" written by Kendra Cherry, she states the following: "The reason for this is that negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias (also called the negativity bias), and it can have a powerful effect on your behavior, your decisions, and even your relationships." (2020)
To gather the statement above, when we fight hard issues, they have a larger impact on us than the happier ones, so therefore, we focus on them.
Issues like these can affect your ability to maintain a healthy relationship or even be happy on a day to day basis. We let the bad thoughts consume us and we tend to fixate on them. It is easier for us to use this negative energy because we cannot find the positive kind. Like they say, "When life throws you lemons, make lemonade." It is easier said than done.
Cherry also mentions, "For example, you might be having a great day at work when a coworker makes an offhand comment that you find irritating. You then find yourself stewing over his words for the rest of the workday."
This quote actually affected me personally. Looking at myself, I could have an amazing day at work, but I got so fixated on the most minor issue of a bad encounter with someone that I let it ruin my whole day. I let that small bad problem and experience make me have a bad day because it was easier than focusing on the good that I was feeling.
I am tired of feeling negative and unhappy all the time, I am a very strong individual and have a lot to live for, so I stopped being this way.
It is like the old quote that states, "If you have $250 in your pocket and someone stole $10 of it. Would you focus on that $10? No. Don't let $10 ruin your day."
It is so easy to feel angry all the time and let the past consume you and eat you alive. What is so hard is to move on and not let these hardships affect you any further. You must let go of them and only seek happiness in the future. And, frankly, being upset and negative all the time is quite exhausting, I am over it.
To all the people who have dealt with this same issue of fixating on negativity and letting bad times consume you, I am encouraging you to let go. You need to move on. For your mental health and self happiness, it is best to only look forward. The past is the past for a reason, and we must build each other up and search for positive ways to cope.
Throw out all those negative thoughts, wake up in the morning and see you are in control of your own happiness and positivity and do not let anyone take that away from you.
I am trying, I know you all can too.
The grass is always greener on the other side if you make it that way.
Love Always, Mel.