One thing women get accustomed to hearing throughout their lives is about the danger of being high maintenance. Men tell us that the last thing they want in a woman is for her to take a long time to get ready. We are taught that girls who work hard on their appearance are narcissistic, self-absorbed airheads. But just because this belief is common doesn’t mean it’s true. In fact, it’s a downright lie.
Women are constantly made to feel pressured about their appearance. Men, too, of course, but women are marketed to in a different manner. We are conditioned to believe that looks are a contest. We come to believe that the pretty girls are the enemies who we need to somehow surpass in order to win. We are marketed products that will enhance every feature we have (by enhance, I mean better adhering to Eurocentric beauty standards, of course). When using said beauty enhancers, we are attacked from all sides: some people say we aren’t supposed to use them at all, some people say we need to use more. Society tells us we need to look a certain way, but if we use beauty tools to look that way we are called fake and liars. The truth is we can’t win.
There will always be women who decide to opt out of the beauty routines. They say no to makeup, hair products, even clothing items that will bring them closer to the “perfect” look. Some of my best friends lean this way, explaining that they are too lazy to take a long time to get ready. Others see this as a protest against a system built against women loving their bodies. This protest is a legitimate one, and these women deserve their props. But what about those women who choose to get ready? Who use lots of makeup, who take an hour to get ready before they go out? Those high maintenance girls, they deserve recognition too.
I love makeup. There is nothing in the world that makes me feel more powerful than achieving a perfect winged eyeliner or when I’m having a good eyebrow day. And for some reason, some people think that’s wrong; I’ve stopped caring. I, like most girls I know, spent the majority of my life agonizing over my looks. I never thought I was pretty enough. The girls on TV or on magazines, the one’s that boys liked, looked nothing like me. I spent my childhood groaning at the reflection in the mirror because I wouldn’t ever measure up. Thankfully, as I have gotten older, I learned to fall in love with myself. I acknowledge my beauty in all forms. And putting makeup on is something that helped me do that. Practicing eye shadow looks and contouring tricks taught me a healthy relationship with my reflection. Some people will say that that’s self-obsession, and maybe it is. All I know is that self-obsession is a lot better than self-loathing.
We have established that women will be attacked regardless of how they choose to present themselves. To those ladies that love to go barefaced: you are beautiful. To those who choose a full face: you are beautiful, too. But if you choose to put energy and time into your looks, don’t let people tell you that you are vapid. You can be the smartest girl in the room with the prettiest manicure. You don’t have to make the choice between being pretty and being authentic. Instead, choose to be you. Whatever version you like the best.
