As a millennial, you'll hear many of your friends and people on the street these days talk about not opening up to others easily and not being able to let someone in too quickly. It got me thinking as to why we decide to close ourselves off from others. Is it the fear of being heartbroken again? The fear of people leaving? Or just plain fear of other people? Why are we so afraid to open up to people?
Trust me, I've been there. The heartbreak. The heartache. That lonely feeling that you just can't shake. The feeling of; "How could someone who told me that they loved me do this"? I can understand why someone wouldn't want to experience that feeling more than once because, plot twist, it SUCKS. But just because you open up to someone doesn't mean that you're going to get your heartbroken 100% of the time. Just hear me out on this.
Think back to the relationship that you had. What was one of your favorite parts of the whole relationship? If you're anything like me, getting to know someone completely and entirely new to you is pretty amazing. It's probably one of my favorite things. You learn what scares them, what keeps them up at night tossing and turning, their favorite food, the way they take their coffee, the list is endless. How cool is it that before this moment in time you had no idea that this person existed? Or maybe you knew them but you didn't know them quite like you know now. It's just so incredible how intricate each and every one of us are, so why wouldn't we be more inclined to show someone just that?
It can be a little bit scary showing someone the inner workings of your mind. No one really wants to ever show someone the deeper side of them that they keep hidden from the light of the everyday world. That deep side that seems to like coming out during the late hours of the night to talk about hopes, dreams, and your feelings about why your mom and dad aren't in love anymore. I think that we withdraw after someone breaks our heart because we feel betrayed. We trusted this person with everything that we had within us. They promised that they wouldn't leave. They promised that they cared about us, and then they went and did exactly what they said that they wouldn't do. Leaving us feeling alone and empty.
Just think about it for a minute. Though you have tears streaming down your face, you had something beautiful and real with someone. They trusted you enough to open up a part of themselves to you. They showed you the most vulnerable parts of them and maybe even told you things that their best friends don't even know about. You journeyed through life with someone, for however long you were together, and you found out new things about this person and probably even found out some things about yourself that you didn't know. So while it might feel like that person didn't deserve to know the innermost parts of you, and maybe they didn't, just know that regardless you changed someone's life by letting them get to know you.
It might not have worked out between you and the other person, but their life will be forever changed because they met you, got to know you, and thrived with you. Next time you meet someone and you hesitate to let them in, think about how wonderful and special it is to get to know another human being who's life could be entirely different from your own. By opening up to someone and/or letting someone open up to you, you're teaching them things they might not have ever known before. The same goes for you too. I know it might be a little scary to let someone in like that again but think of all the good things that might come from it. Don't be afraid to tell someone your story. It's worth telling.
