Why I'm Apprehensive About Graduating In May

I'm Apprehensive About Graduating In May

I can't ignore the fact I'm graduating this spring anymore.


I've become one of those senior girls who is nervous if her degree audit is correct, sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and is trying not to stress out about college exit exams and Spring.

Who am I?

A college student who is a little apprehensive about graduating in the spring.

If only life were as simple as the game Headbands. Don't get me wrong, the game is slightly annoying when you don't have good questions to ask your fellow gamers.

I'll explain.

What you do in this game is you and the other players put on plastic headbands that have a slit in the front of them. Then you pick from a stack of cards and put your card (the cartoon image side facing your opponents) in that slit. This card has either a person, place, or thing drawn on it. Your goal is to guess what you are before anyone else does. You find out what you are by asking Yes or No questions to your opponents.

Your only clue is you know you are a person, place, or thing. The rest you figure out through the Yes/No responses to your questions.

I've been a pancake, Hollywood, and Cleopatra before. It took way too long for me to figure out I was a pancake. My brother, who finished first, was done thirty minutes before me. We were all sitting in the kitchen, and one of my friends kept going to the pantry and rummaging around the pancake mix to try to help. I was so oblivious I didn't even see it.

I felt very dumb when I figured it out, to say the least.

Life - not as simple as the game Headbands. In Headbands, a player can only be one thing – either a person, place, or thing. But in life, we can be many things all at once. I have been a theater kid, softball player, sorority girl, paint-crew member, Old Navy employee, girlfriend, small group leader, and more in my life... and most of these things were happening simultaneously!

I know this trend will continue after college. I will have many labels on me all at once, but all I want to know is what job I want after college.

I want to know where I belong in the business world. Selfishly, I want someone smarter than me to discover that perfect job I would love and give it to me for Christmas. It would be even better if they updated my resume and got me an interview to a great company, too.

But that isn't how it works, and that is how life can be as annoying as the game Headbands. It takes a while to figure out what job you are cut out for. It requires some hard work, some trial and error, some "I'll figure it out next time" when you've finally left a bad working experience. I wonder if I'm asking the right Yes or No questions, sometimes. I wonder if I'm missing the clues, because life gives me clues as to what I can handle, what I love doing, and what is good for me.

It's always been important for me to follow my passions, no matter how odd they seem to my friends or family… or how unattainable landing a job with said passions are. Recently, I learned from a very caring man named Robert (who never finished college) the following:

"No matter what job you're in, you're not going to be paid what you think you're worth anyway, so do something you love."

I probably cannot follow his advice right away after college, which is okay with me. I understand finding that job you love more than hate takes time. I don't have all the answers to my "What if's"... yet.

I do know that the middle of the game is always the hardest part for me because I become uncomfortable in the uncertainty. But the uncertainty of life is kind of thrilling at the same time BECAUSE I realize time is so vital to help me figure out what I need to do to become the woman I want to be.

To all the people out there who feel like they are in the middle of the game of life, stay positive. I think this is the most exciting part of our stories (even though facing the unknown is very uncomfy). Know that as long as you keep doing the next right thing, you're on the right path to success and happiness.

You know, it's awesome how you can talk yourself out of the stress you're experiencing if you focus on the positive aspects of the situation.

If none of that brightened your day, here are some awesome life hacks (ways to make life easier) that I am totally going to test out. All of them had me giggling, thinking "Why hadn't I thought of that myself?"

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So, You Want To Be A Nurse?

You're going to find that nursing isn't really about the medicine or the assessments. Being a nurse is so much more than anything that you can learn in school. Textbooks can't teach you compassion and no amount of lecture time will teach you what it truly means to be a nurse.


To the college freshman who just decided on nursing,

I know why you want to be a nurse.

Nurses are important. Nursing seems fun and exciting, and you don't think you'll ever be bored. The media glorifies navy blue scrubs and stethoscopes draped around your neck, and you can't go anywhere without hearing about the guaranteed job placement. You passed AP biology and can name every single bone in the human body. Blood, urine, feces, salvia -- you can handle all of it with a straight face. So, you think that's what being a nurse is all about, right? Wrong.

You can search but you won't find the true meaning of becoming a nurse until you are in the depths of nursing school and the only thing getting you through is knowing that in a few months, you'll be able to sign the letters "BSN" after your name...

You can know every nursing intervention, but you won't find the true meaning of nursing until you sit beside an elderly patient and know that nothing in this world can save her, and all there's left for you to do is hold her hand and keep her comfortable until she dies.

You'll hear that one of our biggest jobs is being an advocate for our patients, but you won't understand until one day, in the middle of your routine physical assessment, you find the hidden, multi-colored bruises on the 3-year-old that won't even look you in the eyes. Your heart will drop to your feet and you'll swear that you will not sleep until you know that he is safe.

You'll learn that we love people when they're vulnerable, but you won't learn that until you have to give a bed bath to the middle-aged man who just had a stroke and can't bathe himself. You'll try to hide how awkward you feel because you're young enough to be his child, but as you try to make him feel as comfortable as possible, you'll learn more about dignity at that moment than some people learn in an entire lifetime.

Every class will teach you about empathy, but you won't truly feel empathy until you have to care for your first prisoner in the hospital. The guards surrounding his room will scare the life out of you, and you'll spend your day knowing that he could've raped, murdered, or hurt people. But, you'll walk into that room, put your fears aside, and remind yourself that he is a human being still, and it's your job to care, regardless of what he did.

Each nurse you meet will beam with pride when they tell you that we've won "Most Trusted Profession" for seventeen years in a row, but you won't feel that trustworthy. In fact, you're going to feel like you know nothing sometimes. But when you have to hold the sobbing, single mother who just received a positive breast cancer diagnosis, you'll feel it. Amid her sobs of wondering what she will do with her kids and how she's ever going to pay for treatment, she will look at you like you have all of the answers that she needs, and you'll learn why we've won that award so many times.

You'll read on Facebook about the nurses who forget to eat and pee during their 12-hour shifts and swear that you won't forget about those things. But one day you'll leave the hospital after an entire shift of trying to get your dying patient to eat anything and you'll realize that you haven't had food since 6:30 A.M. and you, too, will be one of those nurses who put everything else above themselves.

Too often we think of nursing as the medicine and the procedures and the IV pumps. We think of the shots and the bedpans and the baths. We think all the lab values and the blood levels that we have to memorize. We think it's all about the organs and the diseases. We think of the hospitals and the weekends and the holidays that we have to miss.

But, you're going to find that nursing isn't really about the medicine or the assessments. Being a nurse is so much more than anything that you can learn in school. Textbooks can't teach you compassion, and no amount of lecture time will teach you what it truly means to be a nurse.

So, you think you want to be a nurse?

Go for it. Study. Cry. Learn everything. Stay up late. Miss out on things. Give it absolutely everything that you have.

Because I promise you that the decision to dedicate your life to saving others is worth every sleepless night, failed test, or bad day that you're going to encounter during these next four years. Just keep holding on.


The nursing student with just one year left.

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Let's Talk More About Lori Laughlin Facing Up To 20 Years In Prison When Brock Turner Got 6 Months

And he was released three months early for 'good behavior'... after sexually assaulting an unconscious girl behind a dumpster.


To start, Lori Laughlin messed up royally, and I don't condone her actions.

If you live under a rock and are unaware of what happened to the "Full House" star, here's the tea:

Lori Laughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli — and like 50 other celebrity parents — were found guilty of conspiracy to commit fraud, and paid a $1 million bail on conspiracy to commit mail fraud, and honest services fraud. You don't need to know what these mean except that she paid $500,000 to get her two daughters, Bella and Olivia Jade Giannulli.

I know you're wondering why they did it — tbh I am too — however, these parents paid the University of Southern California to give admission to her daughters in through the rowing team on campus, despite neither one of them actually playing the sport ever in their life.

Yeah, Aunt Becky messed up and should face punishment, but why is she facing up 20 years when men like Brock Turner are sentenced only six months for raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster at Stanford?

I hate to bring up the gender card, but I'm pulling it: Why is Lori Laughlin — a woman who with bad judgement who used money to give an upper-hand to her entitled daughters — face more prison time than a man who willingly raped a woman who wasn't in a right state of mine (or any at all!) behind a dumpster of all places.

The answer? Because the system is a mess.

Yeah, Aunt Becky paid for her daughters to get into a school, giving disadvantages to students actually deserving and wanting to attend a college. Her act was immoral, and ultimately selfish, but it doesn't even compare to what Brock Turner did, and it doesn't even effect others as much his rape survivor.

The most that will happen to the Giannulli girls is an expulsion and a temporary poor reputation, however, Emily Doe (the alias of the survivor) will feel the consequences of the attack forever.

There should have been a switch:

Lori Laughlin and the Target guy should have had to pay other students tuition/student debt while facing prison time, while Brock Turner should have had to face over 20 years with more consequences.

But, that'll never happen because our system sucks and society is rigged. I guess our society would prefer a rapist walking around more so a woman who made a poor choice by paying for her daughters to go to a college.

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