Why I Love You

I love you because you make me laugh. You pull the goofy side right out of me as if it had always resided so close to the surface. You make me smile even when days seem unbearable. You embrace that sometimes I’m a total dork. When I get a little lost in conversation and take something too literal you laugh with me at my blunder. When I slip in a snarky comment you laugh because you find the ever-so-slightly mean side of my humor funny. Together we can spend a Sunday morning watching SNL videos with delivery Mexican food as if nothing else needed to exist that morning. I love you because loving you is as easy as laughing with you.

I love you because you make the scary parts of the world feel a little less scary. The day after the presidential election so many people felt numb and scared. We got Thai food at your favorite restaurant and were that couple that sat in the booth. I felt like it was you and I against the world. It didn’t matter the hardships we feared were ahead because we were falling in love. You make everything feel a little lighter, a little brighter. You’re the thing that brings a smile to my face on days when I worry I won’t be able to. You involuntarily make my mood at work go from borderline homicidal to jovial. I love you because we are two intense people and yet there’s a lightness to you that I cannot describe, and that lightness makes my world.

I love you because you’re driven. You have a passion and a goal and you so fearlessly follow that drive. You work hard intellectually and at your job. You have a set of values that matches up with mine. You’re okay when I go all literature nerd on you and go on a rant about the characters in a novel I must read for class. You listen to me rant about "The Great Gatsby" incessantly and in some ways, I think you love me for my ideas on literature.

I love you because you’re an amalgam of all the qualities I thought I could fall in love with. Not that long ago I made a list of traits I thought I would never find in one person. I made a rule for myself; I was not going to date anyone unless they checked off all of the boxes on my list. Some of these boxes were rather stupid and simple. Other boxes seemed like nothing on the surface but they were part of the dream significant other who I was hoping didn’t exist.

Before you asked me out I was super content just living my life with myself. I love my own company. You’ve probably noticed this by now. I thought there was no harm in going on a few dates with a stunning girl who made me smile every time she went out of her way to talk to me. Then we went out for coffee. You were sweet and you told stories like you had nothing else to convey to me but an experience. I love stories like that—not didactic or boasting in nature but rather just there for enjoyment. You captivated me.

At that early point, you checked off some of the basic boxes on my impossible list. You were taller than me and wore lipstick. You truly are the more feminine one and that was a requirement. I quickly found out you liked music. Not only are you a music fan, but you listen to punk and rock and country and even jazz. Eclectic music taste including country music was admittedly a little too high on my list.

It was the boxes that came next that made you the amalgam of everything I needed in a significant other. I thought when I made the list that someone considerate and self-motivated was a paradox. I thought that finding someone who had a lot of thoughts about life but didn’t suffer from the superiority complex all of my exes did was totally and utterly impossible. I hoped that there would never be a person out there who I would feel comfortable both going out and staying in with. That was terrifying to me. Now I love lazy afternoons with you not going any farther than your couch.

You never pushed me, early on. You let me take my time with us and I love you for that. I think we’re comfortable together in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else. I get anxious staying in with other people. I need a clearly defined exit point when hanging out with friends. On dates I tend to like to be able to leave the person after the museum or dinner. Being out of the house is calming for me. It takes a lot to enjoy sleepy afternoons with someone but I have that with you. I’m comfortable enough with you that you will see me in my pajamas with my hair sticking straight up like an anime character’s and nothing about that bothers me. I don’t feel like a trapped rat when we sit on the couch and do homework together. Instead I find myself calm. I like spending time with you no matter where it is.

The thing I love most about you is that you balance me out. You give me space where it is needed and a gentle push when I need a good push. You take my stubborn nature and you love it in a way no one else has. You’re constantly late and I’m always on time. You talk about big picture philosophies and I talk specific detail. You are someone relatively calm to balance my high-strung nature. Sometimes we switch roles, and I love that about us too. Not only are we a well-balanced seesaw, but we’re compatible. We have fun together. I’ve mentioned laughing with you. I also love relaxing with you. I love how time stops and we just focus on each other. You let me do my thing and you do your thing while occupying the same space. You don’t get mad when I start yelling about the characters in my novel for class all having names that begin with M. I don’t get frustrated when start talking your sentences aloud. We work well together. Some might say we have a strong harmony in our relationship that I’ve never experienced before.

I love you for everything you are and for what you are not. You are kind. You are witty. You have a soft spot for people and places. You’re a little rough around the edges just like me, but most of all, you are the most genuine person I have ever met. You love unabashedly and I love you for that.