Why I am Happy Not Going Back to School

Why I am Happy Not Going Back to School

Happy to be out of school

It’s just about fall and for the first time since I can remember I am not going to school. I have no sadness or nostalgia about this. I did well in school, but it was still hard both academically and socially. I am looking at the start of one of the most beautiful times of year where I live without any stress or anxiety buried down. All I have on my plate this fall is more writing, camping, and hiking. No longer is my life going to be about homework or getting papers done for class, nor is it about doing things I have to do. This fall isn’t about what I have to do but what I want to do. Here is my list of reasons why I am happy to be done with school!

1)Not taking classes because I have to

Putting time and money into a class just because I need it to fill the requirements that my school set out. Having to read books because they are part of the class not from choice.

2)No Homework

I hate homework more than just about anything unless it was writing for a creative writing class. Unless it was something that in many ways I was choosing to do.

3)Social Obligations

Feeling the need to have friends and not just friends but groups of friends. Especially in college and high school. I haven’t been part of a group of friends in high school or college, and it has been something I have struggled with.

4)Judging Myself

I judge myself on my grades, my friends, how social I am being. Overall I have had this pattern of comparing myself to other in the school setting every year. It feels so amazing to be free of that pattern and the judgment that I put onto myself.

5) Not having to see people I don’t want to

As a sensitive person, I tend to be selective about who I give my energy to. Being in school, I don’t get the chance to chose sometimes. I had friends that after a certain point we were no longer friends. It was tough to see them around campus or in classes. It is also hard when things happen behind the scenes like in my apartment and mutual friends that we had stopped being friends with me. Now, who I see can be a lot more selective and up to me!

6)Social Media

Seeing what other people are up to and again judging myself. I am so excited to be free of that.

It is a relief to me to be out of school and not have to deal with all of the things that I find stressful.

Cover Image Credit: EPidden

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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An Open Letter To Myself At 15

This is an open letter to myself about things I wish I had known at 15.


Dear Hailey,

You are so loved. I know times might be hard, but it will all be okay. It's okay to ride the fence and be unsure of what you want to do with your life. You're going to change your mind 10 more times before graduation anyways. Also, don't worry about all of the things that you can't change. You can't make someone fall in love with you or make her treat you like a better friend. It's okay for people not to fit in your life. Stop bending over backward for people and live for yourself. In a few years, you will go through so much, but you come out on the better side. You are going to be successful and driven. Also, learn what the meaning of "self-care" is. You need to do a lot of that in the upcoming years. Mental health is more important than anything. Also, quit cutting your baby hairs. They will never get longer so you need to embrace and love them early on. Figure out what you can change, and what you cannot. Most importantly, accept what you cannot change. When you decide that you are ready to face the things that you can change, do it with your whole heart. That doesn't mean complete perfection. It's important to know the difference. Start by making a plan for the future. Write it down, memorize it, do whatever makes it the easiest for you. Think through your plan logically, take into consideration your strengths and weaknesses. Remember to do the hard things first once in a while, the relief is sweet in the end.

You are ready.

You are young.

You are smart.

You are beautiful.

If you ever feel that you are at your lowest point, just remember the only place that you can go is up. Find reassurance in the weakness. The best is yet to come. Don't take pity on yourself. Instead, work harder to make your situation better. Be happy. There are so many things to be thankful for. Ask when you need help. No one can read your mind. Time won't stop for you. Worrying and stressing is simply a waste of time. Be strong and know that you are in God's hands. Everything will work out. It may not be today or tomorrow, but eventually, the pieces will fall into place and you will understand why things had to happen that way.



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