At every school there always seems to be that one girl (or 50 girls) who has perfect hair, has perfect skin, has adorable outfits, gets good grades, is good at 3 sports and is involved in at least 7 clubs. And then there's the girl who seems to be friends with the whole school, and the one who seems to have an endless supply of trendy adorable outfits. Then there's you. The one who feels like they have no friends, frizzy hair and last year's fashion sense. The one who wants to be like the perfect girls but knows she never will be.
There's so much pressure in middle school and high school to be like everyone else. You have to have the cool new shoes, the cool new necklaces, those trendy shirts, expensive headbands and fancy backpacks. And just when you finally persuaded your mom to get you those super cool expensive shoes, there's another pair of cool new shoes that you want that also cost $200.
Popular girls will find a way to make anything cool. Even when you have the clothes, the backpack, and the lunchbox, you don't have the bracelet that they have. And when you finally get that, they all seem to have gotten the same new socks over the weekend and you don't have those, do you?
Nobody ever thinks to be their own person, set their own tends, or wear what they think is cute. Don't you ever get tired of the popular girls? Don't you ever get tired of wishing to be like them? Don't you just want to go to school wearing what you want to wear without worrying if it's trendy or not?
Why does everyone care so much about what people think?
Psych Central, a blog about psychology, wrote an article on why we care what others think. "While seeking approval from others may be inevitable, problems may arise depending on how far one goes down that road," said the blog.
"When caring how other people perceive us interferes with our own intuition, that’s when you may need to simply follow your heart and do what you feel is right. If you find yourself biting your lip from saying a quirky comment out of fear that others will raise their eyebrows in judgment, maybe that’s a time to try to bury that mindset and just be yourself" they said.
While asking your friends for advice is okay, when it relates to the outside rather than the inside, caring what people think is usually a waste of your time. There are a few types of people. One would make a decision in his/her head, (I'm going to wear these shoes tomorrow), then ask her friends for approval, (should I wear these shoes tomorrow?) and then carry out the plan (wear the shoes tomorrow). If the friend had said not to wear the shoes, she probably wouldn't wear the shoes.
Someone else in the same situation might ask her friends first by asking "what shoes should I wear tomorrow?," she would then choose to wear the shoes tomorrow as if she had decided herself, and finally she would carry out the plan by wearing the shoes tomorrow.
However, the independent person who doesn't waste time worrying about others' opinions would make the decision in her head and then simply carry out the plan.
But why is that so hard to do?
People constantly ask for opinions and approval before they do anything. "How does this shirt look?" "Are these shoes weird?" "Should I do it?" "Are you sure I'm right?" Have you ever had the most brilliant idea ever and decide to tell your friends and your mom and your sister? Didn't they all tell you it was an awful idea? Well you never even tried. Whatever your idea was, you never got to do it because you were busy worrying about everyone's opinion. If you hadn't asked and had just gone with your instinct, your idea may have been great. Everyone may have loved it! But you never even gave yourself the chance to try.
Even though it may be tempting to want what everyone else has and to be just like everyone else, everyone should try being his/her own person once in a while, you never know what it could do.
