This is something that literally no one wants to talk about, especially guys. They are taught from infant years to adulthood to be robust, emotionless, and untroubled. But, let’s be honest — they are just as human as females so why are they supposed to be so “masculine”? Why are some guys taught by their role models that violence solves their problems? Does society not understand the everlasting effects from the “lessons” that are being engraved in the male brain?
Recently, I have become very interested in the topic of masculinity, mostly the effects that it has on, not just men, but women as well. For example, the popular TV show on MTV “The Guy Code” broadcasts how men should react to situations that deal with hooking up with girls, how to talk to girls, and how to respond to girls, among other “manly” techniques that all men are supposed to know. How is it that one TV show, even though they make the context comical, supposed to portray how men are supposed to react? It may seem like just another comical television show, but it leaves out a huge portion of men out there. These “rules” that men are supposed to follow are the reason why men have a hard time making connections with women.
From personal experience, I have witnessed a girl turn down a guy because he was being “girl.” The fact is, the way men are brought up, also, gives women a mindset of how men are supposed to act. Here are just a few of the “rules”: Men aren’t supposed to cry at sad movies. Men aren’t supposed to show emotions when they are hurt. Men are supposed to be brave in the face of their worst fears. But the thing I find contradictory is how girls will then turn around and say how they want a guy who cares, when they, in reality, want men to care only a certain amount. They want them to care but in a “manly” way. But, who is to say what is “manly.” I am not blaming society for all the stuff men have done or have the potential to do, I am just trying to get the point across that if we start changing the small things it will soon change the epidemic things.
In the piece by Michael Kimmel, “Bros Before Hoes: The Guy Code,” he speaks about these growing epidemics of masculinity. Kimmel speaks about how the biggest insult against men is being called anything referring to being homosexual such as, faggot and gay. He asks teenagers what they thought indicates that someone may be homosexual. Common responses were, “He walks a certain way, talks a certain way, acts a certain way. He is well dressed, sensitive, and emotionally expressive.” The last line is what speaks the loudest. Why is the thought of men being emotionally connected to the world/people/themselves so degrading? Men are constantly ridiculed for dressing “feminine” or talking “feminine,” etc. But, if we, as a society, are ever looking for a way for men and women to be equal, we must reject the idea of “guy” rules or “girl” rules and start seeing each other’s humanity instead.
I want to stress that this is an epidemic. It has everlasting effects on society. We are in 2017, for crying out loud!!! The fact is that society needs to change their norms against masculinity and how men can express themselves. Along with this, men need to understand they should be supporting one another for being themselves instead of putting each other down. This is something that cannot be changed overnight but bringing awareness to the situation is a start.
