It’s pretty hard to sum yourself up in 650 words, but for your sake, I’ll try. Here are the basics: I’m Ben Owen, an 18 (almost 19) year old college student at Virginia Tech. I love sports, I’m an only child, and I’m from Richmond Virginia. I’m involved with Younglife, Mac n Cheese is the best food of all time, and boy oh boy do I love myself some old school Justin Bieber music. So, there I am, it only took 74 words. The only thing is, though, that I’m not quite finished. I have to tell you about what makes me who I am, or more specifically, who makes me who I am. Trust me, this will take far more than 576 words.

When I was in 6th grade, I went on a winter retreat with my youth group. Honestly, I didn’t go for Jesus. I went to hang out with my friends, crush the competition in the lip sync battle, and eat some dank camp food. On Saturday night, the speaker told us about how we were all broken people, who messed up all the time and fell short of the standard the world set for us, the message every insecure middle schooler wants to hear. He didn’t stop there, though. He told us about how when Jesus died on the cross, it was the ultimate payment to God for all the sins we had committed, were committing, and would commit. He told us that because Jesus was perfect and still took the punishment that we deserved, when God looked at us, he saw Jesus’ perfection. That was too much for me to handle at the time. Through tears, I accepted the invitation to follow Jesus with my life.

So, riding the biggest spiritual high ever, I went back home on Sunday evening, only to find out that accepting that invitation didn’t make my problems go away and didn’t make me want to stop doing bad things. Despite this surprise, I decided to stick with it. Over time, I began to spend more time with God. He taught me to love people better. He taught me to see opportunities to show people their value. He taught me to use my gifts to glorify Him. The thing is, though, that I was focused on me every time I did those things. I’m sure there are people who know me reading this and saying,”Well, he didn’t love me very well that time. He didn’t show me my value.” That’s because my focus was on the wrong thing.

I said that when I was in 6th grade I accepted the invitation to follow Jesus with my life. I don’t think I knew what that meant. I thought that following Jesus was a way to make yourself better. I thought that following Jesus was a way to make yourself have an easier life. I thought that following Jesus was a way to guarantee success. If you’ve read this far and you’ve been thinking about all the people who said they were Christians but weren’t actually any nicer or different than anyone else or all the people who were good and kind but had horrible things happen to them, then you’ve seen the damage these lies can do.

Following Jesus isn’t a way to make yourself better. It’s a way to make yourself less. Like I said before, after I accepted Christ I didn’t stop wanting to do bad things. I was still prideful. I was still rude. I was still judgemental. Having a relationship with Jesus isn’t like going to the dentist and getting a cavity filled and going on your way. It’s a relationship. It is a process of your old life passing away and allowing Christ to become more and more of who you are. It takes humility and it takes time.

Following Jesus won’t make your problems go away and won’t guarantee success, at least not success in the way we think about it. Having God in your life doesn’t make it so you never have problems. In fact, the opposite was true. Right before he was taken and tried, Jesus said,” whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant will also be.” (John 12:26) I’ll say it again, Jesus said this right before he was taken, unjustly tried and convicted, and crucified. A life of following Jesus involves suffering, but it’s not meaningless, it’s for his glory.

So, who is Ben? Ben is a servant of Jesus. He isn’t a Savior or a perfect judge or a prince of peace or a deliverer or a healer. He serves the person who is. Ben is a child of the king, an ambassador of Christ, and a washer of feet. I am who He says I am.