When I was 16, I went to a Young Life camp for the first time and had my world completely changed when I decided to follow Jesus. Some of the most influential people during that time of learning about God, and what it actually means to be a Christian, were my Young Life leaders. They were older, smarter, and seemed 100% more put together than I could ever imagine being at the time. In my last year of high school, I learned more things shaped who I am today than I ever had in my life, and a lot of that was because my leaders were so great. They were great at loving people and communicating the word of God. What I didn't realize though was that leaders learn things too. For those of you that don’t know, Young Life is a Christian outreach ministry that focuses on telling adolescents about the Gospel. When I began college, leading a Young Life group was definitely something I was interested in doing. Today, I am almost at the 1 year mark of when I first began leading, and it's crazy to look back and see the different things that have happened in that time. I went into this position of leadership looking forward to teaching a group of high school girls about God, but I was taught so many things in return.

I’m not gonna lie, walking into a room of 30+ high school students who don’t know you is pretty intimidating. So when I became a new leader, I was slightly nervous about having to meet all these new girls and starting conversations with them. I learned pretty early on that people aren’t as scary as they seem in your head. Sure, conversations can be awkward with complete strangers. Sometimes all you want to do is hangout with people that you DO know without having to leave your comfort zone, but reaching out to new people can be extremely rewarding, and can begin some of the best relationships.

Something that was more difficult for me to overcome, was learning that I had to see the worth in myself before I saw it in other people. For most of my life, I've had a difficult time loving and respecting myself. You can’t really do that when you are in skits, giving a talk, or proudly declaring the Gospel to a kid during a 1 on 1. It’s debilitating, and makes leading nearly impossible. It can also be hard to love and see the worth of students when you don’t even feel that way about yourself. I had to learn that I needed to leave my low self-esteem at the door and be there for my girls, rather than worrying about whether I had the ability to lead them or if there was someone better out there to do it.

The last thing that I learned was that I needed to be unapologetically myself. I went into this position thinking that I needed to be perfect all the time. To always be over the top happy and never dealing with any real human problems. The issue was, that I’m not always on my A game. Sometimes I’m on my B, C, or even (gasp) D game. And that is okay! It is okay to be human, and I don’t need to pretend that everything is always going perfectly. What I have found is that being myself - with all of my imperfections - and being confident in what Jesus says is true about me reaps much better relationships and respect than pretending that everything is together all of the time.

So yes, high schoolers CAN still be scary at times, and sometimes I feel like a TOTAL flop, and I have many, many, MANY imperfections, but I’m not going to let those things debilitate me anymore. I will continue to meet new kids, and to remind myself of my true worth in Jesus. I will own my mistakes and failures, rather than conceal them. I am grateful everyday that I have this position, and get to meet these crazy, amazing high schoolers, and that I get to know them and be their leader in the best way that I know how. I am thankful that from getting to teach them about the gospel, I have been taught things too.