And the next the time I wear this dress, I want to wear it when I go dancing, in Boston, with you.
I last minute bought this dress for a graduation party for a girl named Sophia that is a friend of a friend who lives a good half-hour outside of Boston. The white dress wasn't my first choice dress to wear but it was the one that made me feel less self-conscious about my body. My first choice was another white dress that was form fitting and off the shoulder, when I showed it to my mother, she made a comment that made me regret trying on the dress in the first place. So, she picked out the one that I am wearing right now, with you.
For some reason, I am attracted to the color white. I think my love for the color happened after I took family portraits and I cried to my mother about the dress that I got to wear versus the one my cousin had gotten to wear. I felt as if she had set me up or purposefully bought me an uglier dress. My cousin's dress was strapless, lace, and off-white. Mine was a strapless sweetheart neckline with eyelets and layered white linen. To calm me down, my mom told me that she gave me this dress to wear because pure white looks better with my skin tone. I believed her.
When I wore this dress for Sophia's party, I had an anxiety attack. I came to her graduation party severely overdressed. I spent way too much time on my makeup and the dress was too dressy for the occasion. Instead of just thinking that I looked better than everyone else or that everyone, including the person being celebrated, was criminally underdressed, I got into my head and began to cry after pleading to my friend that I wanted to leave. I tried to explain to her why I was crying but I knew she wouldn't understand and I knew I couldn't leave her. So, I had to suck it up. My anxiety attack must have really affected my friend more than I thought because she had texted my mom about it, who had texted me and tried to calm me down. The next day, she then called me so that we could talk things out. I also told some of my amazing friends about my freak out and they tried to help me, too.
However, I know that when I put on this dress, it'll be for the right occasion for the right person. I know that when we go dancing and I wear this dress, I'll be dressed appropriately because it'll be a night out in the town. People will know that we're together. They'll appreciate the dress and the way I wear it as much as I do. And, if I do somehow manage to have an anxiety attack, I'll be with someone who knows how to calm me down.
