I'm sure you've been wondering your whole life what flavor of ice cream you best identify with. Well, I'm right there with you. Wonder no longer, you have found your answers.
Here are 10 different common personality types or general types of people and the ice cream flavors they correspond with. This information is completely authentic and my sources are credible. So take a scoop and dig in to this totally non-fictional cone of an article.
1. Rebel // Rocky Road
Not only is the alliteration a nice touch, but the essence of this flavor is the epitome of a badass. A rebel in frozen dairy form. The huge chunks of chocolate, marshmallows and nuts are crazy. It doesn't even care about the proper food etiquette for consumers. It doesn't care that it's chunks are sometimes so huge you can't fit all of it in your mouth at one time. It watches you struggle and it laughs in your face, without remorse. It does whatever it wants because it knows the ladies like their chunks big and they'll always come back for more; it totally has the upper hand in the relationship. A total nonconformist...such a rebel.
2. Individualist // Pistachio
Yeah, pistachio ice cream is a little quirky and there's nothing quite like it. It does't even want to be like anything else out there because that would be BORING. Its individualistic qualities (i.e. the peculiar green color) are admired by many but it's the only one of its breed that truly has the balls to step out and be different. Sure, not everyone will like it, but who cares! There are some people who do like it and that's all that matters. (I would say it's not about what other people think at all BUT this is ice cream we're talking about so people actually have to buy it in order for stores to keep selling it.) But other than that, it dances to the beat of it's own green colored dairy drum.
3. Peacemaker // Vanilla
Vanilla and peace go hand in hand. It's the middle ground. The neutralizer. The peacemaker. Everyone likes vanilla, it's a fact of life. Even if you don't, you can always dump a bunch of chocolate syrup and other toppings on it and BOOM, you have an agreeable flavor. There's literally no five-year-old's birthday party or ice cream social vanilla can't conquer. Once people arrive and see the big vats of vanilla ice cream for their sundaes, everyone's hearts are at ease and the tense mood is diffused. Some people may say vanilla is boring, but they are wrong. Vanilla is the platform for so much possibility and with that versatility comes peace.
4. Comforter // Double Chocolate Brownie Batter
Okay, so you've just broken up with your boyfriend and you need a little pick-me-up. You're too emotionally drained to talk to your bff about the details...too raw, your mom didn't even know you had a boyfriend and your dog is AWOL. SO, the only thing to cuddle up and watch TV with is a bowl of double chocolate brownie batter ice cream. Who doesn't like chocolate? No one. Look it up. Chocolate is the perfect comfort food, and it's especially skilled in the post-breakup-comfort department. Chocolate can solve all problems and cure any emotionally-distressed induced conditions. So the double dose of chocolate is sure to pump up those endorphins.
5. Snob // Raspberry Greek Frozen Yogurt
The Greek frozen yogurt family of ice cream is full of snobs who like to flaunt their superiority. They constantly feel compelled to let you know that they're NOT ice cream but frozen yogurt, and don't you ever forget that. They're skinnier, have less fat, and also feel the need to have fresh fruit in them!? What is this foreign low-fat species? And then they throw in their Greek heritage just to be fancy, how rude and snobbish! The worst part is...they actually taste pretty good. But don't tell the froyo godfathers I said that. Greek frozen yogurt...can't live with its arrogant attitude but sadly, can't live without its delicious fruity goodness.6. Hippie // Cotton Candy
That chill hippie dude who's always dancing and talking about "good vibes" and has his head in the cotton candy clouds? Yeah, he's this type of ice cream. Cotton candy is so chill, no one really has a problem with it. It's a little "out there" but everyone respects it and moves on with their day. Right on, cotton candy man, keep doing you. LOVE, NOT WAR.
7. Cool // Mint Chocolate Chip
If there was one ice cream flavor that represented the coolest guy in town, the one everybody admires, the one that kids across the land aspire to be...it would have to be mint chocolate chip. What other flavor has minty, chocolatey goodness? Nothing. But it also has a cool confidence where it's not overly cocky, yet, it knows its place in the ice cream society, which is at the top. It doesn't even try to be cool, it just sits there and does its thing, which is beautiful. Mint chocolate chip is the definition of cool. Swagger overload.
8. Average Joe // Cookies & Cream
There's nothing more average than cookies & cream ice cream. I'm not saying it's bad, because I am a definite fan of this oreo creation. We definitely need the average people of this world. They have a place. It's just that no one really seeks out cookies & cream on a regular basis. It's no one's favorite flavor. It's just sort of there. Everyone will eat it because it's got your basic favorites of vanilla ice cream and oreo. But it's got no pizazz, no spunk. That's okay though, because we need that middle-of-the-road-yet-still-delicious kind of people of the ice cream world to fall back on.
9. Laid-back BFF // Cookie Dough
Cookie dough is that one friend you can go to with anything, no judgement. You know they'll listen to your crazy thoughts. You can confide in them your deepest, darkest secrets. They don't ever get too worked up and they're quite loyal. You have the best, most delicious BFF around! You just can't imagine what your life would be like without them.
10. Drunk Guy // Bourbon Pecan Pie
We all know that one drunk guy in the corner who's just doing his own thing.
That's all folks. Now, there are plenty more personality types and a bounteous of other ice cream flavors, but these are just a few I decided to highlight since I saw such a strong correlation between flavor profile and personality. And I bet after reading this article, you're probably feeling like this baby pictured below, wanting to SHOVE AS MUCH ICE CREAM IN YOUR FACE AS POSSIBLE. So I won't keep you any longer, go and do that.
