Which Cement Mixer Are You Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

Which Cement Mixer Are You Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

"And as the stars revolved, so too did the polypropylene drums."

Everything is written in the stars. All that is, was and will ever be is a narrative told by the wandering cosmos, suns and planets. The universe aligns in perfect syzygy and breaks apart into fragmented orbits. The music of the spheres exists in eternal counterpoint to the temporary melody of human life. Also, the stars know exactly what kind of cement mixer you are.

Aries: T10095 Grizzly Low Profile Cement Mixer

You are small, sensitive and love mixing cement.

Taurus: M-61 Mobile Dumping Cement Mixer

You're always on the go and love exploring. You have many interests, including mixing cement.

Gemini: Klutch 1.77 Electric Cement Mixer

You are a traditionalist who would rather do things by the book. In this case, the book is an instructional manual on how to mix cement.

Cancer: Buffalo Tools Pro-Series Electric Cement and Concrete Mixer

You are an optimist who inspires harmony, particularly when concerned with the respective ratios of water and calcified lime.

Leo: H8172 Grizzly Heavy-Duty Cement Mixer

Pessimistic and skeptical, your favorite hobbies include sitting alone in a forgotten garage and mixing cement.

Virgo: Central Machinery Portable Cement Mixer

You are a classy individual with unique talents, such as combining clay with water into a viscous mixture.

Libra: Multiquip MC3PEA Poly Drum Mix N Go Concrete Mixer

You don't need much to live a full life. You are satisfied with the small, simple pleasures in life, such as mixing cement.

Scorpio: Bartell Gas Powered Concrete Mixer

You are a dependable individual, willing to help whether your friend needs a shoulder to cry on, a secret to keep, or cement to be mixed.

Sagittarius: Kushlan Products Wheelbarrow Mixer

You are a hard worker with a lot of integrity. Your determination best suits you to endeavors such as mixing cement.

Capricorn: Kobalt 0.5 HP Compact Cement Mixer

You don't really know who you are or what you want to do. You fear that you do not truly have an identity outside of what others project onto you. To distract yourself from this, you throw yourself into hobbies that keep you busy, like blending substances into a binding agent.

Aquarius: Gilson Portable Concrete Mixer

Your achievement-oriented impulses lead you to crave success. You realize that your future happiness is in your own hands. Though your life is intrinsically tied to the lives of those around you, and theirs to yours, you have found that the greatest value is found in what you create for yourself. That which fills you with joy and purpose like nothing else are tasks such as, for instance, mixing cement.

Pisces: M-58 Compact Cement Mixer

Your philosophy is one which revolves around the big picture. If it is best in the grand scheme of the world, then it is best for you. You are content to constantly spin in cycles at a consistent rate forever if you have to. It is for the greatest good. You cannot disappoint. Your life is cement and mixing is your eternal duty.

Cover Image Credit: Audrey Dubois

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9 Chilling Songs To Listen To As You Traipse Through The Upside Down (Part One)

You have no idea how you ended up here, but you know that it's dark and terrifying. You are stuck in the Upside Down, and the following songs chronicle your journey.

You have no idea how you ended up here, but you know that it's dark and terrifying. Something just brushed against your leg, there are things moving and you can't shake the feeling that you're not alone. The dim light of your phone screen illuminates wet, stringy things that writhe in the darkness, just out of your line of sight.

Dimly, you remember an old newspaper article you found during a curious Google search. Something about a group of elderly friends coming forward with a story of some alternate dimension that threatened the world when they were children. The "Upside Down," they called it. You thought it was a bunch of delusional old people trying to get attention, but now...

You are stuck in the Upside Down, and the following songs chronicle your journey.

1. "It Has Begun" by Starset

"Into the dark below, evading shadows,
Blind in a rabbit's hole, we fall beneath the earth ..."

Honestly, you will never understand how you managed to get yourself stuck in a creepy shadow dimension. But you're here, and you can't really do much about it except find a way out.

You have no clue where you are, but you can tell you're underground. That's a start. You suppose you should just walk until you can find the surface.

2. "The Ghost of Rattman" from the "Portal 2" Soundtrack

Man, there sure are some creepy noises in the Upside Down. You're walking down something corridor-like that looks like it's made of viscera. Your shoes sink into the fleshy ground with every step you take. You've heard whispers, distant roars and weird squelching noises. It's hella freaky. You wish you could do more than just walk in one direction.

The smell gets to you enough that you finally take off your jacket and wrap it around your face. As you do so, your foot catches onto something. You nearly fall, but you clumsily manage to recover. You secure your jacket and turn your phone screen down toward the ground.

It's a human skull.

3. "Help Is On The Way" by Rise Against

"They said, they said help is on the way,
But it never came..."

You admit to yourself that you probably need someone to rescue you. You've been down here a couple of days now, sleeping on the nauseating floor and somehow not vomiting. There's no way that your disappearance hasn't gone unnoticed, and the local police are pretty diligent guys. They'll find you. The hope helps you ignore the hunger gnawing at your side.

You haven't seen anything or anyone alive yet, though you've definitely had a few close calls — hiding around a corner when something comes running by, closing your eyes and hoping the things don't notice you. That kind of thing.

All you need to do is wait for someone to come save you.

4. "Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf" by Rob Cantor

"He's following you, about thirty feet back,
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint..."

There's something following you.

If you had to guess, you would say it's about thirty feet behind you. It has been for quite some time now. You don't know what it is; you're too petrified to turn around. You can hear its quiet padding and snuffling behind you, along with the occasional wet growl.

"It's Shia Labeouf," your brain supplies helpfully.

It is not Shia Labeouf. You don't know what made you think that. What you do know is that you need a weapon of some sort and, well... the ground is littered with bones...

You bend over and scoop up a thick femur from the ground while barely breaking stride. It's slimy, and you have to refrain from dropping it out of reflex. The growls from behind you have begun to slowly escalate in intensity. As the volume increases, so does your heart rate. It's like you're in a real-life horror movie, except the creepy background sound is a terrifying rasp instead of shady music.

There's no way it's not going to attack. It's now or never, you suppose. You turn around just as it leaps for you.

Find part two here!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels / Skitterphoto

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'Grey's Anatomy' Has Gone Downhill, There, I Said It

Yes, I still watch it every week. Yes, it makes me sad.

Yes, I've said it. Now in it's 14th season of the show, "Grey's Anatomy" is beginning to show their age.

In the beginning, "Grey's" was new and exciting. A series focused entirely on a group of interns at Seattle Grace Memorial, and how they were going to navigate between the medical world and their (almost) nonexistent personal lives.

Dynamite characters like Christina Yang and Meredith Grey lit up the screen, and made you almost feel so bad for them that you couldn't wait to see the next horrible thing happen. In newer episodes, it feels like the writers are grasping at any interesting or controversial story line they can doctor up.

Over the course of 14 seasons, there are going to be major cast changes. There have been so many characters run their story, then are booted off. Trying to find an emotionally appealing character has become unbearable.

Not only have the characters changed, but the replacement characters are subpar. None of the modern interns can compare to the puppy-like O'Malley, or make you laugh like Christina, or annoy you like Izzie. Over the 14 seasons, these characters have come, and gone, and taken the drama with them.

Modern seasons are trying so hard to continue a pattern that "Grey's" itself created. In an attempt to keep the audience on the edge of their seats, "Grey's Anatomy" has killed off some of the most binge-worthy characters. Rather than having each episode more exciting and surgery-driven than the other, the new seasons of "Grey's" drag out each story line, to try and attach you to these new, random characters.

On top of all of that, they killed off McDreamy.

Now, let's be honest, McDreamy was problematic at times. Now, we ignore that because he was Meredith's one true love! It seems in the newest seasons that Meredith just can't catch a break, because after years of fighting for him, McDreamy was once again gone; and this time, Meredith can't win him back.

With the new announcement of Sarah Drew and Jessica Capshaw, April Kepner and Arizona Robbins respectively, leaving the "Grey's" family, this is just another step in the death of the series.

As much as I've loved watching, and re-watching, the series, it's sad to see "Grey's" turn into the melodramatic series it is from the stunning night-time entertainment it was.

But, as Christina Yang would say:

Cover Image Credit: YouTube.com

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