I harbor slight control freak tendencies and I like everything to be structured. I live for the new year because it means new planners that will soon be filled with my tedious notes and a methodically composed general outline of what I want my year to look like. At the time I made this life plan, I was in a very serious relationship with a boy I was confident I was going to marry. Everything seemed to make sense, but in hindsight I really am baffled as to what world I thought I was living in where everything I wanted was so easily attainable.

If things had gone according to my original plan I wouldn't even be living in the city I'm in at the moment. I would be married to the guy I promised I'd spend the rest of my life with my freshman year of college. I would still be living in my hometown. I would be a stay at home mother and certified carpool queen whether it be going to school or soccer practice. I'm not quite sure if I would have completed all four years of college, but there honestly wouldn't be a need for it. I would be a lot closer to my parents than I currently am, physically and personally.

What actually happened was so far off I might as well have thrown out my planner. I moved to another city to finish college. The guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with cheated on me about four months after I moved. I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship right now, much less married and raising a family.

If things had gone according to my original plan I would've saved myself from a lot of troubles and heart break, but I wouldn't have grown as a person as much as I have. I truly believed my destiny was to be a housewife and mother straight out of high school. While I find absolutely nothing wrong with the idea of devoting all my time and attention to raising a family and being a wife, I'm not quite done being on my own. I fell out of love with a boy and fell in love with freedom. I couldn't be more thankful that things didn't go according to my plan.