"Hey! I haven't seen you in forever. How are you?"

"Honestly? Terrible."

*awkward silence followed by laughter*

This was the beginning of the first conversation I had with a former roommate after being out of contact for months. Instead of being put off by what some might consider a pessimistic or "downer" attitude, I was instantly relieved. Her honesty was refreshing.

This simple interaction got me thinking. How often do we pass strangers on the street, wave to acquaintances, maybe even stop to talk to a close friend and ask "How are you?" expecting the person to return the empty greeting, completely indifferent to how they're really doing. It's a mere formality that, often, doesn't even warrant a response.

I remember being surprised when a French exchange student in high school told me he disliked the way Americans ask "How are you?" He said it was insincere and that he knew people who asked him this question had no real interest in his wellbeing. He also added that people in his country don't ask that question unless they honestly have a desire to listen to the answer.

He was right, but, for some reason, I'm still guilty of this. Not only do I ask this question insincerely, my response is usually equally empty. Even on my worst days, I'm likely to say "Great! Thanks, you?" (and keep walking, of course)

But what if the person who extends the greeting actually needs to talk or is legitimately interested in investing their time to learn more about what's going on in my life?

We get so busy, so caught-up and comfortable in our routines, that I wonder how frequently we miss out on opportunities to invest and be invested in by others.

After recovering from the shock of her honest answer, my former roommate (now, close friend) and I caught up, talked life, shared major TMI for people who hadn't seen each other in months, and now text and/or snapchat everyday, in addition to hanging out on the weekends -- the refreshing honesty remains a very real part of our friendship.

I can't help but wonder, had she been as insincere as I was with my original offering, would I have missed the opportunity to reconnect? Would I have missed the opportunity of friendship?

I don't know. However, from now on, when I ask someone how they're doing, I want to know the real answer, and I plan to share my own.