I’ve been a barista for about a year now, and while it is a fantastic job and I absolutely love it, every job has its downsides. And with being a barista (along with any other customer service job, really), you get the pleasure of dealing with some real creeps.
For some reason that is completely beyond me, when you are behind the counter, people no longer see you as a regular person. You’re seen as more of a customer service robot who will stick to a kind, polite script no matter what someone says to you, but that is so not how it works. If you act like a creep, you’re going to creep people out, and my coworkers and myself have dealt with our fair share of creeps. I promise, we have heard it all.
After I asked, “What can I do for you?” I hear: “Nothing unless you could give me a picture of your eyes to hang up next to my bed so I have something nice to look at while I try to fall asleep at night.” (Side note: this person made comments about my eyes repeatedly, and I am convinced he wanted to rip them out and preserve them in a jar to keep in his refrigerator or something. Seriously. A little while later, he asked if he could take a picture of them.)
A man called the store phone and then proceeded to ask me to join in on his and his “master’s” BDSM playtime while on the phone. No, I did not do it. Employee training should definitely include what to do when strangers call asking for weird phone sex.
“If this coffee is not good, I’m going to come back and kiss you on the lips.” What?
A preteen came up to order, but instead of ordering, he made his sock puppet talk to me and order for him, creepy voice included.
“Would you like any samples?” “Nope, just a sample of you.” Gross.
“You smell like a girl I made out with once.”
This homeless man used to come in every day and hit on my friend. He would always say that even though he was 50 that she was the love of his life and that he would never date again unless she married him.
“This coffee is not nearly as hot as you. Could you warm it up?”
My friend and I, who worked at two separate coffee shops, had guys ask if we would kiss them for a “scavenger hunt thing.”
“Can I touch your hair?” Huh? No?
One of my best friends and coworkers at my first job had a guy come in repeatedly and sit directly in her line of vision and just stare at her for hours with his legs spread apart. After refusing to leave after they asked him to, police had to get involved, and now she has a restraining order against him.
P.S. When someone’s taking your order, don’t be a creep.
