When you find yourself watching movies about college kids and thinking to yourself, “They are really making some questionable life decisions without considering their impact on others or their future,” you know you’re old. Sure, you might technically be in college, but at heart you are a candle-loving grandma with an early bedtime—and you love it.
One of the easiest ways to identify your inner elder is to think: How many pop culture references on Buzzfeed do I understand? If you can read an entire article and not recognize one person’s name or understand any of the slang or emojis included, then you might actually be an old person. Bonus points if you don’t even care that you aren’t caught up on the times; those Disney channel kids clearly need stronger parental guidance and a trip to Disney World.
Another way to tell if you are actually just trapped in a college kid’s body is to think about the last time you made it downtown. Was it over two weeks ago? If you do go out, do you find yourself wondering how everyone finds the energy to make it till the bars close, much less past midnight? The entire time you can’t help but think about your nice warm bed and the mystery novel you just started. You’ve started to make up tests the next day so you have a legitimate excuse to not be social.
When you hear the most popular music on the radio, you physically cringe. You are fairly sure that no one actually sang during the entire song and now you have a headache from the beat. You have no idea how DJs are producing all of the hits right now, and you are not completely sure what a DJ is.
Your favorite television shows are getting rebooted and suddenly everyone is married and has kids. Remember when Cory and Topanga studied for their history test together? They are now married and have a child… in middle school. How about when DJ would talk to her "Pillow Person"? She is now a single mom to three children.
Finally, your interests have changed. Suddenly, you find the home improvement channel and cooking competition shows absolutely thrilling. Nothing gets you more excited than the final round of "Chopped" or when a couple is deciding whether to "Love It or List It." You cannot remember why you ever found a show about teenage vampires captivating.
If one or more of these conditions apply to you, your days of youthfulness might be over. You love watching the news and getting a full night’s sleep, and you don’t care who knows.
