It all started when I went back home for a “mental health weekend” during my first semester of college. Mind you, I had only been at school for a few weeks and was already feeling a major change; after all, the farthest I had ever driven before leaving was 30 miles down the road for a football game. Now I live hundreds of miles away, going to an out-of-state school where I didn’t have any close friends to hide behind. Driving back through those small town streets made me genuinely happy and I almost thought about locking myself in a pillow fort surrounded by my childhood memories never to go back to the reality of university.

This feeling lasted all of three minutes.

As I made my way past all of the familiar places, I couldn’t help but feel like I was intruding on some secret meeting full of people I no longer recognized. The high school was still there, but now there was a new building being constructed beside it. My house was still there, but now I had three new sets of neighbors that I’d never seen before. I was filled with confusion and a sinking feeling like I no longer belonged on these streets that used to be mine.

Nothing felt like it was mine anymore.

My family now had inside jokes that no longer included me. My favorite restaurant in town had become just “that place where that boy took me on that date that one time”. The football stadium I spent every great Friday night in was now just like any other football stadium. When hometown friends asked if we could hang out soon it became: “Sorry, I’m going back home this weekend.” Home, referring to school. I didn’t mean to say it – it just slipped out, but the look on their face said it all:

My hometown was no longer home, instead my university had taken the place of it, and I was okay with that.

I made the decision to come to this school for completely “selfish” reasons: I liked it here, it had the major I want to go into, great sports teams, was far enough away but not too far. When I got accused of “drinking the Kool-Aid” after only weeks of being here, I was dumbfounded; shouldn’t everyone love their school as much as I do?

Now instead of being upset about it, I’m thankful. I found the place I want to be for the best years of my life and that’s okay. I made my college decision for me and that’s okay too. Now there’s new traditions, new favorite restaurants, a bigger and better football stadium that I will happily wake up early on a Saturday to go hang out in. There’s new best friends, new crushes, new memories that I will tell my children and grandchildren about alongside the old shenanigans I became accustomed to. This place has become my home, and the people here are like new members of the family.

Wanna know the funniest thing about it? As a kid, I dreaded and tried to avoid going to school. But now, I count down the days until I can go back.