You’ve just graduated from high school and you’re super excited for college! You’ve counted down the days until graduation and are so over school at this point, only being drawn forward by the crisp, new paper smell you imagine your diploma has. All of high school passes you by and you’re finally free … to jump right back into four years of education.
You’re pumped, until you’re reminded that most of your friends aren’t going to the same university you are. You might even be the only person going to the university you chose like I was. You’ve spent years cultivating lifelong friendships with wonderful people and now you have to come to terms with the fact that they won’t be with you all the time like they used to be.
This was me just a few years ago as I traveled half a day’s drive from Alabama to my new home in Waco, Texas. Fortunately and unfortunately for me, I’ve done a decent bit of “leaving” in my life. After primary school I started fresh in a small town with new friends. Here I met my earliest best friend who has been faithfully by my side for over a decade.
I met a girl I loved and had plenty of other friends that I was close with. I ended up saying goodbye to my friends, girlfriend, and family (thankfully with my best friend by my side) for a boarding school on the coast. I spent two years there and met even more unbelievably incredible people, some of which are guys I definitely want standing beside me on my wedding day. I spent two years living with these people, making it even harder to say goodbye when I decided to head across the country to follow my dreams at Baylor.
It’s tough. It is difficult. There’s no getting around these facts. Leaving the people you love so deeply behind is never pleasant or easy, but there is peace in knowing that your friendships won’t fade. Sure, distance is hard as it is with any relationship, but your true friends will continue to be by your side regardless.
You may talk much less than you used to; you may not see each other more than once a year; you’ll meet new friends who you’ll love just as much; you’ll wish you could see their life unfold as you used to. You’ll want all of these things and more that you once took for granted, but your friendship will still be strong with the people you’ve dedicated your life to and who have dedicated theirs to you.
It takes effort on both sides. Both people have to be willing to make time for 1:00 a.m. Skype calls, for visits when you both go back home, for texts throughout the week, for tagging each other in funny Facebook articles, and for being there for each other despite the distance. It’s cliché, but distance can truly make you value your friends more. I’ve had my fair share of friendships go by the wayside, even with people here at Baylor, but my ride-or-die homies haven’t faded out.
Being away has made me appreciate them even more. I feel like a proud parent when I see them being successful at their own universities. When I get to talk to them, I so appreciate getting to hear their voices and hearing about their lives. I value the three-hour calls where we seem to talk about everything that has ever happened in the history of the earth.
I get to fully appreciate the inside jokes we used to have and all the laughs from our time together. (It’ll come to ya!) Oh, the inside jokes. (I left the polish on the bottom shelf, B!) We talk for hours reminiscing on late nights of randomness and dance parties to every 2000s hip-hop song and a million other things. It never gets old. The distance can be draining at times, but like I said, it has really made me find a new appreciation and love for my friends.
God works in mysterious ways like that and even stranger ways sometimes. Friendships that you thought were nothing can turn into best-friendships too. At least one person in particular who I never talked with much in high school has become a friend who I know I can always rely on and someone I am so grateful to have in my life. (Thanks for being one of my biggest fans.)
Truly, coming at distance with the right perspective makes all the difference.
Make new life-long friends, but know that the ones from your past won’t stay there; they will be a part of your present and future as long as you allow them to be. Pour into those you love and don’t let distance be destruction for your relationships. Stay in touch and trust in what you’ve built.
