I came to a very sad realization while sitting with my high school best friend at a small creep shop in my hometown this break.
That sad realization being that in my 20 years on Earth I've never been on a real date.
Yes, I forced my high school boyfriend to take me to dinner on our anniversaries and yes, college guys have bought me food from the school's cafeteria on their meal cards before.
But never has any guy asked me to dinner or to a movie, planned the whole night, paid, expected nothing in return and then rinse, repeat and did it all again the next weekend.
I'm not writing this article to make anyone feel bad about themselves (or to make myself feel bad about myself).
(kidding)
And I am definitely not writing this article to criticize the male species for their "lack of chivalry." I think there are far too many articles on the "hook-up culture" and our generation's "fear of commitment" and how people have started marrying older and about our "inability to have monogamous relationships."
I'm writing it to put my own thoughts into words.
And here's the question I'm trying to answer: What is the new norm?
Is the new norm meeting drunkenly at a party, hooking up that night, hooking up a couple times in the next month, only texting on weekends, and pretending that feelings just aren't a thing?
When you ask a girl, "is he a nice guy?" and she replies "no, he's an asshole" just because she wanted to date him and he didn't want to date her, does that really make him an asshole?
When a guy finds a girl he thinks is really cool and decides he doesn't want anyone else to have her so he asks her to be his girlfriend, is he whipped?
When the girl starts to get feelings for the guy because they've been having sex for months and sex triggers an emotional and uncontrolable response in the brain, is that bad? Should she run away from "the feels?"
When a guy decides that the girl he's hooking up with started to have feelings for him and without even asking her if she does he takes it upon himself to never talk to her again, is that okay? Because god forbid anyone ever start to care about him, right?
There is a disconnect between the way guys think about girls they are "just hooking up with," and the way girls think about guys they are "just hooking up with."
We are in a transition period between the old dating culture and the new dating culture.
The old one being the times of letters, purity rings, phone calls, chaperones, asking parents, promise rings, waiting till marriage, marrying young (because you're waiting till marriage) etc.
The new one being sex on the first date, texting, snap chatting, liking social media pictures etc.
It's time that guys and girls get on the same page. Until we find our equilibrium and agree on today's standards, hearts and hopes will continue to be broken.
