I've never been super "excited" about the whole college thing. There were times throughout high school where it felt like nothing would ever be as exciting as the whole "college experience" seemed. Come to find out, the "college experience" in which I'm referring to is just a bunch of stressed-out strung together nights worrying about your correct citations on a completely irritating research paper. Needless to say, I dragged my feet through my general education courses at a community college with the hopes that one day I would have the "Rory Gilmore at Yale" experience.
Perhaps my expectations are a little too high because, well, you know, I don't actually go to Yale, but either way, it has been a seriously lackluster experience.
I've wanted to be an English major for as long as I can remember, and I was counting down the days until I could finally start taking higher level English courses. Of course, the classes were less "Gilmore-esque" and more "get me the f***k out of here." Pulling out my eyelashes one at a time usually sounded much more fun than anything school related ever did.
For years, I had been surrounded by my best friends raving to me about how fun (and challenging) all of their courses were, and I had seen them happily bury their heads in textbooks to study for exams. Why couldn't I study with such enthusiasm? I loved to read, I loved to write, why wasn't my English major becoming the perfect fit for me? I had never gotten poor grades in anything literature related, and I suddenly found myself drowning in a sea of uncomprehensable Beowulf quotes. NOTHING WAS MAKING SENSE. And you can bet your bottom dollar that these feelings often left me discouraged, overwhelmed, and extremely unhappy.
After a minor-meltdown in the middle of a grocery store about the status of my college graduation date (it is not nearly as close as I would like it to be, but is it ever really?) It finally occurred to me: My major just definitely isn't 'The One.'
I sat in shock. I really didn't think I was the type to change up my major more than once. But the more I thought about it; the more it made sense. It's OKAY to change your mind. It's OKAY to decide to take a risk and travel down a path that may or may not work out for you. It's OKAY to feel overwhelmed, and it's OKAY to reach out for help. After all, the only way one really gets through college in one piece is with plenty of help! And most of all: It's okay to graduate behind schedule. Because you know what they say, better late than never, right?
