You don't expect it. You expect that when you go off to college that you'll meet new friends, you'll start over, go to class meet the love of your life, etc. You never expect that you might lose someone. Someone your own age, somebody who you grew up with. It happens though, no mater how hard we try to push ourselves away from the fact that we are all going to die someday, no matter how many times we've told ourselves none of it is real, it will happen.

There really aren't words to describe the feeling you get when you get the news that somebody you grew up with passed away, too young, too soon. In this case cancer, the ugly C word took a friend away that I've known since kindergarten.

I think about her often, what she would be doing, how much of a better place she made this world.

You begin to see and hear things that make you think of this person when they never did before. You'll think of them, and miss them. Sometimes the pain will be horrid, sometimes it will be bearable. When you miss your friend in Heaven just remember to live life to its fullest, to love and cherish every moment you are given with the people you love the most. Embrace your journey and every twist and turn in it, and remember to never lose yourself in the pain. When we miss someone so much it leaves a gaping hole in our hearts, it's hard not to lose yourself. Remember this; that while their physical being is no longer here, their soul is, and their soul is what made them, them. Their soul can be found deep within you and everyone who they touched in life. Their soul the most important thing about them can be seen in the smallest of things, if only you take the time to really see it. Somebody extremely wise once said "clear eyes, full heart, can't lose" and it is the most true thing I have ever heard.