Ever since I first picked up a softball when I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of playing ball in college. But with dreams come challenges. I distinctly recall a time when people would talk about me, saying that I sucked at softball. As most would guess, I didn’t like people saying that about me, so I worked harder. When I pitched my first high school game, I heard people whispering afterwards, “I didn’t know she was even good.” Even when everyone said I was too small, too skinny, and too weak, I persevered and proved them all wrong. Every season I trained for it, practiced for it, worked for it, and as of lately…cried for it.
I cried because I have decided to leave one of the things I love most, behind.
This has been one of the hardest decisions for me. How can I let go of something I worked so hard to achieve? Something that shaped me into the person I am today? As college does to many, I changed. I started realizing how important my education is and how much time I need to dedicate to my studies. Now, I’m not saying that college athletes don’t care about their studies, because they do. At UWL, the student athletes have a higher collective GPA than the rest of the student body. However, in my circumstance, I don’t feel as though I will be able to succeed in school with an added commitment to softball.
This spring, I will be taking 16 credits. 2 of my 4 classes will require a 3-hour lab once a week. With such a rigorous schedule, it would be extremely difficult to miss any classes due to games and find time to study/get homework done with the amount of time spent practicing. This is the reason I have to let it all go. I have decided to pursue my academic career which is much more optimistic than my athletic career.
To anyone who’s reaching the end of their athletic career, just remember that when you leave the game behind:
- Be proud of everything that you’ve accomplished.
- The lessons you’ve learned will last a lifetime.
- Don’t regret leaving it, everything happens for a reason.
- Cherish the memories. Both the good and the bad.
- Keep active, it’ll be weird to not have practice anymore.
- You’ll be okay.
- When God removes something from your life, He adds something better in it’s place.
And to that little girl who always dreamed of playing collegiate softball..
I’m sorry for leaving the game.
But I’m not sorry for all the friendships you’ve created, or all the places you’ve visited because of it. Not for the determination you’ve developed or the hard-working ethic you’ve attained. I’m not sorry for the amount of time you spent practicing and training, through which you established your character. Not for your learned ability to set goals and then be proud when you succeeded or work harder when you failed. I’m not sorry for having it open you up to others when you were too shy to even smile. Not sorry for all the times your passion for something as simple as a game, illuminated off of you and inspired others. I’m not even sorry for all the bruises, cuts, and bumps received throughout all the years.
Because without all of those things, you wouldn’t be who you are now.
And I like who you’ve become.
