I go and sit and talk. You're a great listener and an even better secret keeper. I just wish I wasn't talking to a slab of stone. I wish I was visiting your home, instead of your grave.

I wish I didn't wake up crying frantically because you visited me in a dream. No matter how many times I go to your grave or how many months pass, it just never gets any easier.

Without you here in my life, everything feels so black and white: rare to find a colorful, joyous moment. I've become cold, some even say emotionless. But really, I feel all sorts of emotions. I feel angry, I feel sad, and I feel confused.

Most of the time, I can only think about how much you should be here. Of how much I need you to be here. Some days are harder than others, but each day is painful. Sometimes, I can accept the fact that you're not here anymore. I can accept that I only have the memories of us now. But, other days I feel like I am drowning in sorrow.

You didn't deserve to die. The honest reality is, life is unfair. I will never understand why you were taken away so young. Whether it was expected or unexpected, no one is ever ready for the moment that you have to say goodbye.

I often find myself wondering about your future: would you have changed, gotten married, and had kids? What would you name your kids? I hope you would be proud of the person I have become.

I'll never stop missing you, see you on the other side.